Lorenzo Cassano

You will be the death of me

His lips were soft like cotton candy or cooked bread that had just come out of the oven and he took me in by the waist.

I didn't pull away partly because I was caught off guard and partly because I didn't want to. Not even for a second.

Putting my hands on his neck, I drew him closer, as if this moment could last forever, which I know it can't.

As I wasn't experienced, meaning this was my first kiss, I had to pull away so I could breathe.

"Is this your first kiss?" he asked as if he read my mind.

"N-no," I muttered, pulling myself away from his embrace.

"We need to go it's getting late," I said, running to the car before he could protest. I didn't dislike the kiss, it's just that I'm afraid I messed up so badly he knew it was my first.

While driving me home, he smiled on his face which made me even more embarrassed than before.

"Fawn-" he began, but I interrupted him before he could continue.

"Yeah, goodnight," I said trying to run away, but he caught up to me and dragged me into his grasp.

"You did a great job Fawn with the kiss I just detect it better because I'm a man whore" he said.

"What kiss?" I asked, in which I meant that I was going to listen and then forget everything.

In all honestly this wasn't my first kiss but it was my first real kiss with someone I wanted to do it with.

Don't get wrong Carlos was fine but this was more enjoyable.

"Right" he replied and as he was about to say something Carlos showed up with a smile on his face as usual.

"You're back!" he exclaimed, ignoring Lorenzo who was beside me and whose smile completely disappeared when Carlos showed up.

"Yes, we are," Lorenzo said, taking my hand before I could reply.

The smile that had been there before was gone from Carlos' face when he saw my hand enlocked with Lorenzo's.

The moment I tried to speak to Carlos, Lorenzo pulled me inside the house.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Roll your eyes at me again and I'll give you something to roll them at", he stated as he looked at me intently.

This made me curious as to what this something might be.

Folding my arms around my chest, I replied, "I'm sorry about the kiss, but Carlos is my friend."

"Do you kiss all your friends?" Lorenzo blurted out waiting for my reply.

"No, but he asked me to kiss him just that once"

"So if I ask you to fuck your brains out just this once you'll say yes?" Lorenzo shared and I just stood there surprised at what he just said that I couldn't respond.

He referred me as a friend? Does this mean we're friends now?

"Good point you win" I reply brushing off the fact that he just said that if I said yes he would fuck my brains out just this once.

"Good girl," he said as he sat down on the sofa, which brings me to my next question, which is more serious.

"How do I know that this vulnerable you is really sincere?" I asked as my smile disappeared from my face like it got stolen.

"What do you mean?"

"How do I know that tomorrow you won't be the same old you and a half-naked girl will emerge from your room?"

"Tesoro you put too much faith in me" he declared getting up and walking towards me until he's at a decent distance that's reassuring.

"Truth be told, I have no idea if I'll be that person tomorrow or a year from now, but I do know that sometimes you...make me feel, that is what's gonna kill me"

"Why is it such a bad thing that you feel? you want everyone to think you're some heartless person but I don't believe it not even for a second"

"And that...amore, is dangerous" he replied cupping my face with both his hands.

"Why?" I asked, furrowing my brows in confusion.

"Maybe someday I'll tell you" he replied pressing his lips to mine and kisses me softly.

Then I make my way into my bedroom after saying goodnight to him.

During the night, I lay awake looking at the ceiling with my fingers tracing the part of my lips that Lorenzo kissed, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

My wedding was in a week? What if we have to do sexual intercourse? I wanna climb his body every time I see it, but I'm not ready yet.

There's no way he'll force me, he doesn't seem like that type.

Because I made him feel, he considered me dangerous? There was no way I was going to tell anyone.

It could be just between us.

As I thought about Loretta the girl I had to murder and remove an organ from, my happy thoughts disappeared.

I don't mean to constantly think about it, but it's like that immediate feeling that just comes to you all of a sudden without warning.

I wasn't reading a book or watching a movie where a girl does something awful and then forgets about it because she's in love, and I'm not in love, so I'm still trying to figure out what happened.

I will never forget.

I wasn't like Lorenzo or my sorry excuse of a father. I was not an experienced killer.

I don't take lives voluntarily, I save them.

It breaks my heart to think of it and she looked so young too, what if she had children? Nevertheless, I know that if I ask to investigate, I won't let it go either way.

She and the other two people should at least have been given funerals, but sadly that doesn't fly in the mafia.

Stopping my train of thought, I closed my eyes in order to get some sleep.