Jealous, Much?

Chapter 5

My pizza didn’t burn! Score!

But now I have to deal with Liam’s worried look, Louis’ skeptical one, and Zayn’s…to be honest, I can’t really tell what he’s thinking. I mean, who can? He seriously has that mysterious image down pat. And Harry’s just sitting there looking pleased with himself, whilst smiling over at me. I don’t get what he is trying to do, I mean, like, I know he’s doing all this to help me with Zayn, but I’m not sure how saying that would get Zayn to like me, or make him jealous or whatever. Well, of course mentioning what he’s implying that him and I did ‘something’, should spark jealousy, but only if Zayn likes me, but it’s just so frustrating because I can’t tell. I don’t think Zayn likes me, because, like, I’m me, but you always have that bit of hope that the person you like, likes you back, you know?

“Well, anyway, I’m just gonna go back to my room…with my pizza…yeah, bye!” I quickly get out as I grab the plate on which I put my pizza, and leg it out of the room before Harry can say anything else awkward.

When I’m safely in my room, I let out a sigh. Zayn just looked at my dick. Well, clothed dick…well, the general area…well…you know what, he probably wasn’t even, or if he was, he was just weirded out by what Harry was saying. Ugh, Harry, can you not make me get hard just from speaking when we’re in front of the boys. Though, I don’t want him getting me hard when we’re alone, either, for that matter. Well, it’s a bit late for not wanting that. And at that time, I had wanted it, hadn’t I? So what does that mean?

Thinking about all of this is giving me a headache, I’m just going to eat my pizza without thinking now. I switch on the flat-screen television situated on the wall across from the bed in the hotel room, and settle back on the comfy, white pillows on the hotel bed. Damn it, I forgot to cut the pizza into slices, idiot. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to eat it like…a big circle? I don’t even know what I’m thinking right now, I’m so tired. I’ll just quickly finish my pizza and get some sleep before the long and tiring signing tomorrow morning. I hope I’m on the end of the table we’ll sit at, but I’ll still have to sit next to one of the boys, even then. I just don’t really want to talk about what happened tonight, I feel like too much did, Harry groped me, Zayn probably thinks I’m a slut, as probably so do Liam and Louis, because they think Harry and I have this ‘friends with benefits’ thing going on, Zayn and I seemed to have moments that probably weren’t even anything…oh, I forgot about the thing with Zayn’s phone! I forgot about my mission. I must somehow obtain and infiltrate Zayn’s phone, in the chance of finding his secret porn stash. Well, that’s a great plan for tomorrow, though I don’t know how I’m going to get close enough to his phone, considering I’m kind of planning on avoiding the lads a bit tomorrow, to avoid questions, or looks, or anything I just would rather not deal with.

Well, anyway, I think I’m just going to go to bed now, my pizza’s finished, the bed is extremely soft and comfy, and I’m looking forward to some dreams involving a Bradford lad, which I have to settle for, considering the things that happen in those dreams, do not have much chance of happening in real life.

*

*

Staring at my open suitcase, which has clothes and just pure stuff spilling out of it, I scratch my head as I try to remember whether or not I brought my earphones with me. I need those babies, if I’m going to subtly ignore the boys in the van to the signing, and any breaks we have. I see one earbud poking out of a pant pocket, and pounce on it, yanking it out, but being careful not to break it, because that would suck. I’m already dressed in some skinny jeans and a black shirt, but I don’t want to go out of the room until someone comes to get me, in fear of having to talk to one of the boys. Wow, this is probably not good, not wanting to talk to them. I think I would be somewhat okay talking to them, and them asking about what Harry was saying, but I would just rather not. I forgot they probably asked Harry about it last night after I left. I wonder what he said. I hope it wasn’t too awkward or embarrassing for me or him. Though Harry doesn’t really get embarrassed, so I think he would’ve said anything he wanted, as long as he got a reaction, to be honest.

Knock, knock.

I hope that’s just Paul coming to get me.

“Niall, babe, you there?” Welp, it’s Harry.

I mean, I guess he wouldn’t really be asking questions about what’s going on with ‘us’, because obviously he knows nothing is, so…yeah. I open the door, and Harry barges straight in past me, his long hair hitting me in the face as he brushes by. He stops and turns to look at me, as I start to say ‘Hey’, but he stops me with the mix of emotions evident on his face, before he says, “So, Zayn…well, I left straight after you last night, and Zayn followed me to my room…”

I’m literally scared right now, because isn’t that kind of what Harry did to me, and look how he and I ended up. We ended up kissing! If Harry says anything about him and Zayn kissing, I am so done. Ok I need to shut up with my thoughts and listen to Harry, who still looks kind of troubled.

“He had his blank face on, but the one where you know he’s actually kind of angry or pissed or whatever, you know the one, and said, like, ‘What are you doing to Niall?’ and I was like, ‘I don’t think Niall would want me to tell you all the dirty details’, all cheeky, you know how I am, and I swear, Ni, he was about to punch me, no joke, he just stood there silently fuming, or however the phrase goes, and didn’t say anything. I was about to say something like ‘Is that a problem?’ but he cut me off, telling me that I needed to back off, because I would ruin the band or some other crap excuse, but Niall! I think it’s rather obvious now that he likes you”, Harry said, but without much enthusiasm, until the last bit of his recount. Where he said that Zayn liked me.

“But that doesn’t mean he likes me, Haz! Please don’t say these things like they mean something. I’m sorry, but it’s already hard enough to not be able to touch and be with him the way I want to”, I reply, rather desperately, trying not to give into the hope.

Harry sighs, and says hesitantly, “Look, Ni, I’m trying to help you with him, and to make you realise that he does like you, but maybe, do you think, that, like, by you not accepting it, or whatever, that he does like you, maybe…maybe you don’t actually like him enough that you would have hope that he would like you back?”

“What? You’re saying that me trying to not get my hopes crushed and my heart broken, it means that I don’t like Zayn enough? I though you realised that I did really like him a lot, that I, well, might even love him, and you’re just now saying that you don’t think I do!” What is Harry even saying, seriously!

Harry frowns, looking angry now, “Do NOT say you love him, Ni, you don’t…you don’t, okay?!”, he semi-shouts as he stalks towards me, now towering over me…again.

I stick my head defiantly up at him, “Well, I just might, okay? So who are you”, I poke him hard in the chest, “to say I don’t?”

As I finish my mini-blow-up, Harry knocks me back against the wall behind me with a loud bang, again trapping me against a hard surface. I’m rather annoyed at him now, so I squirm and fight back angrily, but he has me held strong against the wall, his legs on either side of my body, his hips pressed against mine, and his hands holding mine just above my head. And he kisses me hard, and of course I stop resisting, because who could resist Harry and his skilful tongue tracing my lips, my teeth, and then the roof of my mouth, fast and furious, to match the drag of his clothed crotch on mine, where, obviously, I am now reacting to the situation. I’m pretty sure this is like the sixth time I have gotten hard because of Harry Styles in the past 24 hours.