tw: suicide
"I wish you were never my child."
I heard that so many times to the point where I just accept it.
I had nowhere to go, given the truth that they just kicked me out because of an unknown reason. I looked at the pills I was advised to take. "This is a waste." I was about to throw it when I heard someone spoke, "It's never a waste, kid."
"Who's there?" I turned to my right and I was met with a sight of an old man. "Ah. I'm sorry for interrupting your supposed to be dramatic moment, you can cry now." He teased me. I scoffed. Old man and their antics.
Cars passing by. City lights. Busy streets. It was always the same scenario. "Who said I was going to cry?"
"You never mentioned it, but it looks like you're about to." He chuckled. What's funny?
"Can I have a moment before I go?" I nodded. "Listen here, kid. I don't know what you're going through right now but," he gently took a deep breath. "Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end." Before I could even utter a word, he started to walk away.
"Can I atleast know your name?" For remembrance, I know I won't last here in this horrendous world.
"Edward." He answered before disappearing in the crowd.
-
I'm only 18, yet I'm burnt out. I thought I'd feel alive, but I just want to sleep forever.
Why did it turn out like this?
My innocence was robbed at a young age and have ruined anything good in my life because of it. I had to grow up too fast for my age. I'm tired feeling like I'm the bad guy here. I can't say anything anymore, feeling numb, still smiling, dead inside, but another cut on my wrist speaks.
The feeling in my chest is so heavy. The barcodes in my wrist was still visible. Some of them are fading, some of them are fresh. I feel empty, is there even an end to this?
"Grandma.. I tried but I eventually failed. I'm sorry." I muttered as I climbed up to the edge of this building. "I couldn't keep my promise to you, I'm so sorry. This is a neverending cycle, I'm tired of doing this — now, let me rest." A falling body and a thud. Blood splattered, and a body lying lifelessly.
It was all perfect, until it wasn't.
