Helluva Dad Season 1

Vol. 12: Ozzie's

The portal to the office opened just as the tree fell to the ground with a loud thud. Jake kicked the latest target's head through it like a soccer ball. 

"Whooo! That was a fuck ton of lumberjacks!" Blitzo happily cried out, dropping the ax aside. 

Striker and Jake followed after him, with the former cracking his fingers. "Nothin' like a good old-fashioned killin' to vent off all of that tension." 

"I'm still so jazzed up!" Millie cried out happily, snapping her own ax in half.

Moxxie stepped out of the tree, aiming a seductive grin at his wife. "Well, you better stay jazzed, babe, because guess where I'm taking you tonight."

"Don't you fare finish a filthy pun in my presence, Moxxie." Blitzo pipped in. "Besides, drinks are on Striker tonight." 

"Wait, what?" the cowboy asked.

"Actually, sir..." Moxxie rubbed the back of his head. "It's our one-year marriage anniversary. So I'm taking Millie to Ozzie's in the Lust Ring!"

"Ozzie's?! No way! That place is always booked!" Millie gasped, eyes sparkling

"Yeah, well, let's say I prepared ahead of time." 

With a squeal of delight, Millie jumped into Moxxie's arms and the two shared a french kiss.

"Go to a motel or somethin'," Jake murmured before asking. "Dad, what's Ozzie's?" 

Striker ran a hand through his hair.  "It's a nightclub and dinner theatre in Lust." 

Jake crossed his arms. "Let me guess: no kids allowed." Striker patted the impling's head.

"I'm sorry, sir. Maybe another time?"

"It's fine! I-I can come with the two of you, help you celebrate your boring as fuck monogamy." 

Striker read the frown on Moxxie's face. "Uh no. The reservation is for us." 

"Uh huh."

"Just us." 

"Mhm."

"Blitz, what Moxxie's tryin' to say is that he wants to have a romantic time with Mildred alone." Striker explained rather impatiently, frowning a bit at Blitzo's puzzled expression. "Without your stalker breath behind their necks."

"Thank you, Striker!" 

"But—" 

"Alright, ye two, have a good time! Jake, let's take Blitz to see how Bombproof chases squirrels!" 

Thankfully, the sole mention of Bombproof distracted Blitzo enough to draw him out of the lobby and into the meeting room. Striker quickly locked the door before Blitzo could try to make a run for it. 

"What the fuck, Striker?!" Blitzo yelled, to which Striker crossed his arms and gave him a stern frown. 

"Look, ye stalk Moxxie 364 days a year. Can't you just leave 'im and Mildred alone for one fuckin' day?" 

"You know, 'stalking' is a bad word. I prefer to call it 'follow them around without them noticing."

"Blitz, that is stalking." Jake pointed out. 

"Come on, guys, we're a family! Families are supposed to stay together!" 

"Blitz, even family members need to have time for themselves." Striker pointed out matter-of-factly. 

Blitzo laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, right. I think I've never seen you and Jake five meters far from each other! Besides, why do you care what I do in my free time?"