"Sorry" said the text from Sam that you got just as you boarded the Greyhound back to Kansas. You didn't even bother texting him back.
6 smelly bus hours later, you were slamming your shit down on the map table at the bunker half hoping it shattered the fucking thing. You continued to handle the situation with the utmost maturity, kicking over a couple chairs, before collapsing onto the floor and sparing a few tears for your hymenated state which had, once again, ruined fucking everything.
Why was a thin membrane of tissue half covering your vagina so fucking important? Why did that always seem to get in the way? But, of course, the truth resists simplicity and it was all much more complicated than that.
You were on your way down to the dungeon to make sure Crowley was still securely imprisoned when you heard him yell through the walls "Yep, still here, luv!" You rolled your eyes, but still went down to see him.
"Gal Friday. But no Moose and Squirrel? Why is that?" he said.
"I'm not in the mood." you turned to leave.
"Then why did you even come down here, if you didn't fancy a chat? Did Freddy and Shaggy send Velma home? Oh. Was it your little problem? I swear you humans put way too much stock in whether you're getting some or not."
"That's rich coming from someone who sold his soul for an extra three inches."
"To round it up to ten, darling. I can be a bit OCD sometimes."
"Why do I even come down here?"
"Scintillating conversation. You know, I could take care of that" he gestured toward your nethers (ew) "for you, if you just took these chains off. Or better yet, leave them on. "
"As always, you are zero help." you turned to leave.
"No, of course. You're saving yourself for Dean."
That stopped you dead in your tracks. Was it so obvious?
"I'm not a girl scout. I'm not saving myself for anybody."
"Even girl scouts lose it at 15, ____!" he yelled after you as you hightailed it out of there leaving him in the dark.
Dammit, why do evil monsters have to be right?
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So, You're a Fucking Virgin
FanfictionYou're a hunter running with the Winchesters who happens to be a virgin. You so don't want that become a thing, so, of course, it becomes a thing. Supernatural S9 AU Originally posted in 2015 on AO3. Please forgive me for any dated references or Joh...
