Always Behind You

1

Kringggggggg

I woke up with the sound of my alarm.

As I slowly open my eyes that is now being blinded by the sun, it's starting to sink in.

I am living the life I've always prayed when I was young.

I glanced at the clock placed on the table.

6:05 AM

I decided to get up and start my day. I made the bed and walk to the balcony.

I am not really a morning person but I've always love to watch the sunrise, it symbolizes new beginnings are always beautiful.

Watching the sun as it rises, together with the cool morning breeze and the birds chirping, it somehow made me calm despite the busy day I have to face in a few hours.

After admiring the view from my room I made my way to the bathroom and got ready for school.

I just wore jeans and a simple white shirt, paired with my white sneakers that Ive had for more than 3 years, it like my lucky charm. I carried my backpack and my jacket since I will not wearing it until Im inside the room.

It's my first day today in med school and I am feeling excited and nervous at the same time. I have always dreamed to be a doctor and I cannot believe that I am actually one step closer to my dream. I now that I still have a long way to go but I know that everything will be worth it one day.

As soon I close my bedroom door, I immediately see my roommate, Kaity.

I met Kaity during our enrollment, my mother and father met outside the med building while waiting for us to finish and my mom found out that she is looking for someone to share the unit with and now here we are.

"Do you want some coffee?" She asked while holding a pot freshly brewed coffee 

"Yes please" I replied as I walk to the counter to make an avocado toast. She handed me my cup of coffee

I cannot function without coffee. Its like my kryptonite. I can drink up to four to five cups of coffee in a day and still sleep in the night. I actually do not know why I can do that.

I do not normally eat breakfast, in an ordinary day coffee will just be enough for me to function until brunch  but since today is a special day, my first day in medical school, I decided to eat for I know that I have a long day ahead and I will definitely need the energy.

Kaity and I chatted while eating about our life for the next four years.

She graduated with a degree in Psychology and I, on the other hand, graduated with degree in Biology.

Despite coming from 2 different schools, and lived in 2 different cities, we actually had a lot in common that is why we immediately clicked when we met.

After eating breakfast, Kaity went to her room to get ready while I was the dishes. I glanced at the clock at its 6:45 AM.

Our class starts at 8 and we live right in front of the school so there is no need to worry about being late.

While waiting for Kaity to finish getting ready I checked my bag if I got every thing, notebook, iPad, pencil and ballpen, umbrella, water, protein bars, alcohol, wallet , and phone.

By 7:15 AM Kaity and I decided to walk to the school. Its only 7-ish and the sun is already harsh to the skin.  It only took us 10 minutes to reach our building. Upon arriving to the classroom I went straight infront of the AC to cool down.

Compared to Baguio where I graduated with my undergraduate degree and spent four years of my life, my med school is  located in a very hot city in the North and for hat for I know will take time for me to adjust to the difference in weather.

Since Kaity and I are also in the same block, it is easier for us since we already know each ofher. It didn't take long for our other classmates to arrive, it was awkward at first since we technically came from different parts of the country but we immediately made friends and by lunch time we already have a group, my first friends in med school, they will be my family now.

Ive always had trouble making friends because of how I look. My friends back in Baguio always told me I look mataray and parang nangangain ng tao when they first met me. But here in med school, I surprisingly made friends with people very easily.

After 3 lectures, it was already 5 PM and we decided to eat out and do some studying at a nearby cafe.

That was my life in med school, sleep-school-study-eat-sleep for the last 3 years in med school. 

There were times that made me question my abilities, but whenever I feel like giving up I always look back onto why I actually want to be a doctor. To help those need medical assistance and also with a very deep personal reason that pushed me to take Medicine, my grandmother.

There were days that are good and some days were not as good as the other ones. I kept myself busy. I joined the track and field team eventually I became the team captain for the women's team, I became an officer for our organization, class and I even joined the team that handle the contestants for the pageant in our college.

It kept me preoccupied for a long time, to the point that i sometimes do not think about anything anymore when I arrive in our dorm, I just go straight to shower then sleep. 

The busy schedule I followed for three years  made me forget things that I've always wanted to not remember, him.

It's been 3 years since I last saw him, I decided not to know what happened to him. I cut off our communication completely, and if something related to him come up, I choose to leave the scene. 

We parted ways with our hearts heavy, didn't have the closure and I don't think we will ever have that closure that I've always wanted to happen.

Everything happened so quickly that I didn't knwo what to do, I just trusted my instinct at that time and never looked back ever since. What happened to me that day still hunt me until today.

I am Sophie Legaspi, a medical student and this is my story .