The Lost Cause(The Savior #2)

19: Clarette

Lorelei

"Hey," I say as I sit down on Grayson's desk, placing a cup of coffee on the smooth mahogany surface and keeping one for myself.

"Hmm," He responds, not bothering to look up from his paper. I rewrap the blanket around my body as a shiver runs down my spine. I never knew how cold one country can be. I always thought people were doing the most when they said the freezing weather in Russia was unbearable unless you're Russian.

It's been four months since we've been here, and I've learned more Russian than Grayson has learned about Leon's plan.

After the first month, we went off the grid. Leon had his men invade the house and destroy everything. I'm glad no one was in the house when they did. Grayson released Leon after that but not before he implanted a tracking and vocal chip inside of Leon.

Estelle and Kirah both decided to go to Italy. I missed them both, but if they believe they are safer there I have no room to judge. Especially since I'm not one to talk to. I'm not supposed to be here with Grayson, but I'm too stubborn to let him go and alone I might add.

I'm glad I get to spend more time with him though. I'm also glad I didn't choose to leave him because I don't know how he would have been holding up. He's stressed and pissed at himself along with other emotions. I'm glad I get to be the one that helps him handle his emotions even if it means he lashes out at me sometimes. I know he would never hurt me, and he hasn't so far, he just needs help managing his emotions.

I noticed a pattern when he lashes out at me. Before he says something he regrets, he always walks out and comes back when he has calmed down. That's something Elijah never did. I never take anything to heart but in a way, I understand what he's going through. I'm glad to be here with him and be able to help him release his stress. In many ways.

He lacks sleep, however. He doesn't even drink coffee that much anymore. If he drank coffee, he would at least have some sort of energy boost in his system, but he doesn't. I sleep all day however and watch tv.

"Come back to bed," I place my hand on the paper he's reading. He finally looks up at me.

"I can't right now, but I will. Give me a few minutes" He removes my hand from the paper.

"You said that two hours ago and yet here you are," He snickers as if I just made the funniest joke.

"Come on please," I plead, touching his shoulder. His body tenses at my touch and he shakes his head. Did he not want me to touch him right now? I reach for his hand and he moves away. "What? I can't touch you now?" I ask a small, sad smile on my face.

"I was looking through documents and I found a file I keep on you. I flipped through it making sure everything was correct. I read through your location reports. So, before I continue with this, is there anything you would like to tell me," He says looking for a folder on his desk. Once he finds it, he searches for a piece of paper.

No, No, No. He can't know. I'm allowed to keep this secret for a little while longer.

The thought of him finding something I try so hard to keep a secret makes my stomach ache and my eyes water. "Your silence is killing me here, Lorelei. Why the fuck were you at a maternity center five months ago? I did my research, and you went there quite often. Even when you were with the prick you still went there and even when I killed him. I never question the places you go, as long as you come home safe. But my men log everything and tell me everything, and you go there on days you claim you are shopping. Care to explain?" He turns his full attention to me, his brow raised and his eyes hard as he stares down at me.