Valentine 4: Still Here

44

Karrie Ruiz
Saturday, February 8, 10:13 PM

Pot?

Tulog na.

Pot naman eh.

Haha. What's up?
Anything bothering you?
Miss na kita. Di pa tayo nag didinner.

Ano kasi.

I miss u too. Dinner soon ha.

Ano nga? Parang timang to.
Di pa sabihin, what is it, Pot?

Remember Axl? Yung makulit na guy?

What did he do?
Sinaktan ka ba? Susugurin ko yon.
Sabihin mo lang, makakatikim talaga
sakin yon.

Hindi gagi, kalma.

Oh eh ano??
Hindi ako mang huhula, Celeste Adrienne ha.

Eto na nga eh. Kasi, he's the hospital. Nothing
major naman, but nabalian siya ng buto.
Cause nalaglag sa hagdan. How stupid.

Oh anong kaso? Anong issue don?

I got mad at him, sinugod ko.
What is wrong with me? Inaway ko pa.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Eh, bakit mo
nga naman inaway. Kawawa naman yung
tao?

I don't know din. I got mad talaga.
Di ko rin alam why.

Di ka naman ganyan ah. Nung naospital
ako cause of appendicitis? You're worried,
annoyed pero worried.

Yun na nga. I don't know why. I was with
Kuya Chase kanina, tas I heard, napasugod
nalang ako sa hospital.

Huh, a different side of you. You're worried,
pero probably you just don't know how to
show it in a vulnerable way kaya it came out
as anger.

Hoy, hindi ako nag aalala sakanya ha.

Oh eh bakit pa natin pinag uusapan
to if you're not even bothered?

Idk, I just feel weird. 😭

Oh come one, be honest nga ha.
Ganyan ka eh, laging confused,
sa ganyan. I know you got mad at Migs
for ghosting you kasi you cared about him.
And you feel guilty na inaway mo pa. 🙄

I know, it's difficult for you to be vulnerable,
lalo na you got bullied, and sa house niyo
emotional punching bag ka ng dad mo
with his problems sa family niya, his way
of showing he "cares" is magalit which is so toxic.
Ganyan na ganyan si Tito when you're sick.
Magagalit sayo, as if it's your fault you
got sick. Which is a wrong way to show
you care. You have to break that cycle.
I know, you're scared, pero it's okay.
There are people you can trust. Hindi lang ako.

Wait, so I care for him? Huh?
Eh, I'm always annoyed nga.

Nako, Elle. Maging honest ka nga sa sarili mo.
Mag reflect reflect ka kung totoo ba, na
annoyed ka, or you care but you just
don't wanna acknowledge it. Don't be
toxic like your dad. Kala ko ba you're breaking
the cycle? You're a different person, Elle.
Wag ka gumaya kay Tito na sa iba nilalabas
frustration sa life.

Grabe, hindi ko alam na may
homily pala tonight. Amen.

Gaga. Seryoso ako. Think about it.
Maybe you really care for this guy.
Maybe you like him. Hindi mo lang
maacknowledge, or maamin, cause you
grew up in a fucked up house, where
they don't show you what real love
looks like. Puro galit as a way of showing
they care about you.

Stop living in the past, people care about
you. Not everyone is out there to make
your life miserable. I hate that you do this,
Elle. Hindi mo deserve na maconfuse
kung ano ba feeling na mahalin ka or mahal
ka ng taong nasa paligid mo.

Grabe, ang lalim, Pot? Dami hugot.
Hahahahha. Nag tanong lang naman ako,
nasabon pa ko. Huhuhu.

Eh kasi, para kang ewan minsan.
Hay. You deserve so much.

Pero, thank you ha.

Para san?

For always reminding me, that people
can be genuine, that people can love me.
For being my bestfriend and lagi ka andyan. 🥺

Asus. You know I always gotchu!
Matutulog na ako. Late na.
Matulog ka na. Wag mo na awayin yung Axl.
Mag sorry ka, napaka maldita mo.

Hahahaha. Yoko nga.
Goodnight, Pot! Love u.

Love u too!