If you knew me at all, you would know that I am the world's biggest Insomniac. Seriously. Some times I go days without sleeping. A: I am a writer. B: I have brain diarreah. C: I cry. All the time.
Once thoughts get going, They never stop. I cry. Litterally in a closet. In my mind, coming out to my parents would go something like this:
ME: *Comes out*
MOM: What?!?! Go away you sINfUl beInG!" *Procedes to pray the gay away*
DAD: You are no longer my daughter. Go away and never come back!
ME: Please no!
Dad: No Gays in my family!
ME: *Becomes homeless*
Me: *Gets a job*
Me: *Gets rich and happy and subtley rubs it in my parents noses*
Me: *Creates a creed of abandoned kids*
Me: *Raises a Gay empire*
Me: *RULES THE FRICKING WORLD*
Parents: Im SoOoOoOoO sORy!
So, naturally, I was scared. But i did have some support. I had an Aunt. We are gonna call her "Aunt shoe". She is the only person in my entire family who supports the LGBTQ+ community. I came out to her and instantly felt a ton lift off my chest. In all honesty, She might have saved my life a few times. In the dark of night I would vent to her and get nothing but pure love in return. But she wasn't the first person I came out to. My cousin and friend, We are gonna call him J, was. I came out to him as Bi, because I was still not fammiliar with the term Pan. I came out to him in a quiet way. We where at a family gathering and I played "Boy Bi by Mad Tsai". He said he understood what I was trying to say. No other response. I got worried. We didn't talk for almost 4 months after that, which is a big switch from being connected at the hip prier. Eventually, we began to speak. But still not about my sexuality. I gave him time, but I was still worried. All this time, my Aunt Shoe was there. Just when I was falling into a pit, I would get a letter or postcard from her. Whenever my parents started making fun of LGBTQ+ community, I would call or text her and we would chat until I felt better.
One day, we watched a show with a Non-Bionary person, and my parents called them "It" and "That". It made me so mad. That was the first time I ever stood up for my beliefs. My parents where huge "Stand up for yourself" people, but I guess that only applies to things they believe in, too. Because they did not respond well to that. I told them how that offended me and how they should be more respectful. They put me on house arrest for 2 days. That's when I started my "Secret Journal". I have always kept a diary, but this was different. This was top-secret. I hid the papers in the back of a Jesus Picture (Ironic, I know.) and wrote down my thoughts to put in there. It kept me sane. It got so full, It was hard to close. One day, my Mom found it.
YOU ARE READING
Little Mormon Girl, Big Scary World (My #BraveTogether story)
Non-FictionIt's hard to be religious and queer. It's hard to have homophobic parents. It's hard to be alone. It's hard to be closeted. But we need to be #BraveTogether. This is my true story.
