This isn't the life I choose , it choose me . I had potential to be whatever my heart desired. I had the parents to give it to me , I had the funds to pay for it and I had the courage . I had it all . But , this life I ended up being apart of I wouldn't trade it for anything. I loved every part of it, the good and the bad. I loved him , every part of him . I love my children. I love the perfect little family that I have . I had it all. But having it all sometimes isn't enough. -Lauren
She didn't deserve this lifestyle . She didn't deserve me . Fuck , I didn't deserve her . I ruined her and changed her life . I tried my hardest to keep her happy, but I don't think I did . I couldn't have kept her happy because she knew it would always end with one of using dieing . I didn't want this lifestyle either , my parents are spiritual , I should have stayed spiritual . I can write music and rap. The first business I ever owned was a record label. That was my passion and she should have been the actress or lawyer she was born too be . Not my Babymother , fiancé , and a drug dealer . Lauren killed for me . I can't believe she did , but she did . I had to do this for her , I'm sorry everybody .
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*We have a 24 year old African American women who has a gsw to the chest and to the head , prep an OR*
Nip - Is she going to be okay? What should I do?
Doctor - you can speak with the police because this now an open case .
Lauren has always known the plan , never snitch . No matter what . So i didn't , I told them that I was going to the station and that here is my number to be notified when she is out of surgery . I didn't call her parents because I didn't want them to hope that she would come out alive and she didn't . I didn't want them to frighten the kids , I called Keisha. Keisha is the only other women who has ever held me during these times . I called keisha . Lauren always told me If she died , be with any women but Keisha . She told me to give them kids a mother . Not keisha . But I don't think I can help her without keisha , so keisha is here. She left , well I put her out . I can't picture this life without Lauren . She is my life . Of course I love my kids, but I can't be their father without her . She taught me this , when I first became a father it was with a mother who didn't need me to do anything but give money and show up to birthday parties and school plays . Lauren needed me to plan the parties , she needed me to be on the PTA at the school, she needed me to be HER. She was out and I was in . She was there but I was too . 50/50 on our parenting . I love her .
Phone ringing ...
Cassie - it's all over the news , Lauren is all over the news , she is going to be okay right? Right? Tell me.
Nip - I don't know . It's not looking good . Don't leave the city , don't come here .
Cassie - I have too , it's my bestfriend. I love her more than everything.
Nip - and I don't? I love her the most and she needs you to be there , with her kids .
Cassie - okay . The kids . Omg the kids? They have phones , iPads and everything . They probably have seen it , I have to go .
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My phone has been ringing non stop , I have did what I told her not to ever do . Kill . I killed every Colombian . I will go to federal prison . I will get caught for this . My kids don't need me . They needed their mama. I'm no father without Lauren , Boog come on you gotta pull through .
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