Regulus Black - The marauders era

Chapter 11 - Nightmares

Regulus was always told by his parents that crying was a sign of weakness and that a Black was never weak. From a young age the children of the Black houses were taught to have an expressionless mask only displaying haughtiness. Regulus was 5 when he was taught to show no emotion and he copied the lead of his older brother who always went around with a slight smirk on his face with eyebrows ever so slightly arched to look intimidating. 'Blacks never show weakness' ever since the age of 3 when he had started crying his father had always told him to man up and his mother had told him crying was for the weak and a child of the most noble and ancient house of Black was never ever weak. That saying had been ingrained into him and tears were rarely ever present on his face, only at night did he really expression any emotion other than disgust or an 'I'm above everyone' look. Regulus found happiness through books he also found sadness came with them as well but the fear that he felt was from something else entirely. It was nightmares that caused the fear in his mind but he felt ashamed and tried to stifle his tears by shoving a pillow over his head but the dark shadows of the room still seemed intent on killing him. It didn't help that he had claustrophobia as well. Regulus has once been locked in a small wardrobe by his cousin Bellatrix for what seemed like hours but in reality was only a few minutes and that is where that fear had come from. He was only 5 when it happened but it was enough to freak him out enough to still have nightmares about it by the time he was 10. He was also mortally afraid of drowning and steered clear from any forms of water apart from the stuff you drink and bath/shower water. He was 9 when the nightmares started to consistently invade his sleep and haunt his mind. He knew he couldn't go to his mother of father if he had screamed his lungs raw after all a comment on how weak he was and dismissal would be all he got. He had started to go to Sirius for the comfort his parents refused to give. His brother was understanding and never teased him for his nightmares. Regulus was glad that he had shoulder to cry on when the things in his mind got to much and he was extremely glad that he and Sirius were so close.
Flashback
"Sirius," Regulus whispered slowly padding into his brothers room and desperately trying to swipe at the tears that were building in his face.
Sirius stirred from his bed and Regulus silently closed the bedroom door still trying to stop the waterfall of tears that were cascading down his face.
"Reggie?" Sirius mumbled voice still heavy with sleep and his hair ruffled from the pillows. Sirius was now looking directly at Regulus a little tiredly and a look of concern came of his face.
Regulus sniffled and fiddled with the hem of the small blankie he always slept with as it had been a present from his Uncle Alphard when he was young.
"What's wrong?" Sirius asked him a worried undertone in his voice and that was all it took for Regulus to start sobbing again and he desperately tried to stop the sounds by putting a hand over his mouth but it just made it worse.
Sirius by now had jumped out of his bed and was giving his brother a comforting hug stroking his hair and whispering words of comfort into his ear.
"Oh Sirius it was a-awful I wa-was stu-stuck," Regulus gulped and he buried his face in his brothers shoulder.
"It's alright I've got you you're safe, don't worry I'll always protect you Reg," Sirius murmured in his ear and after about 5 minutes of this Regulus' sobs had turned to small and occasional hiccups.
"I'm weak Sirius," Regulus whispered hanging his head in defeat and thinking over all the times when it had been drilled into him that Blacks don't cry and he had just gone and sobbed out all his feelings to his brother.
Regulus felt horribly ashamed and he felt as it he was offending his mother although she wasn't directly in the room. These thoughts alone brought on another wave of anxiety and he had to force himself to keep calm.
"No no of course you're not Reggie we've all cried even me remember when I fell down the stairs and I cried," Sirius said and Regulus felt sceptical about whether or not he should be crying.
"But mother said-,"
"Don't worry about what mother said I know you're brave and even the strongest of people are scared sometimes,"
Regulus gulped back all his doubts and worries and focused on Sirius' calming words of encouragement and soon he was yawning and nestling his face into the blankie he still clutched in his hands. The old blanket, blankie was it's name, was quite old and had some frayed edges and the colour had worn off slightly where his mother had had to wash it from sick stains form 4 summer ago when he had been bed ridden with the stomach flu. Regulus yawned again and his eyes felt heavy as he leaned into Sirius' side. He vaguely felt himself been picked up, him being a slight boy and all he was quite light, but didn't register it, he only registered the soft pillows his head was laid on and he instantly drifted off feeling safer and calmer than ever before.

Regulus still reminisced over the days when he wasn't at hogwarts and regularly found himself waking up in his brothers room after his horrific nightmares. But it was when he got to hogwarts that Regulus tried to stifle his nightmares as he didn't want to walk into Sirius' dorm and disturb every one else that was already sleeping. But it was one night where the nightmares got too much and Regulus decided that risking his brothers dorm mates waking up than having to go to sleep with horrible images plaguing his mind.
Flashback
Regulus bolted upright in his bed gasping and shaking as he tried to forget about the images that were swirling in his head. He had been drowning and the water was slowly cutting off his air supply and his vision was starting to fade when he had awoken. His limbs felt shaky and he felt as if he were going to be sick. Regulus curled up into a fetal position with his arms hugging his knees and his head buried in his knees. He wished he had some form of comfort but his blankie was at home, his mother had declared that he was too old for it, and Sirius was in another room with other people in it. The shakiness in his limbs hadn't stopped and Regulus had decided to go seek comfort from his brother before any more tears made their way down his face and before he had a full blown panic attack. He carefully slipped on a dressing gown and walked to the door of the room, making sure not to step on any creaky steps, and silently slipped out of it into the hallway outside.
He had made it to Sirius' room and still the trembling of his limbs and the tears streaking down his face had not stopped. God Regulus felt pathetic and he was sure that if his parents were here he would get a major scolding for being weak. Regulus whimpered thinking about his dream as he silently made his way over to Sirius' bed shoving his fist in his mouth to try and stop the gulping sound coming out of it.
"Sirius," He mumbled and his older brother stirred looking up at him confusedly before registered what was going on and sitting up.
Sirius gently steered Regulus out of the dormitory and into the common below comforting him all the time.
"You're alright Reggie I'm here," Sirius whispered holding his arms out and Regulus collapsed into them sobbing and shaking as his older brother gently stroked his hair and patted his back.
"Let it all out you'll fell better," Sirius murmured and around 10 minutes later he had calmed down and was staring at his feet.
"M' sorry I woke you up," Regulus mumbled and Sirius quietly chuckled.
"Hey it's fine I'm always here for you no matter what time of day or night,"
Regulus cheered up at this and hugged his brother again before yawning.
"Someone's tired," Sirius murmured also yawning and soon both Black brothers were happily content laying on either one of a sofa and sharing a thick, warm blanket as they dozed off in front of the dying embers if a fire.
Regulus still had nightmares of course but they weren't nearly as bad as they had been previously and with the knowledge that Sirius would always help him through them he didn't worry. On the nights the Sirius comforted Regulus and sometimes vice versa both brothers always slept soundly and without any nightmares to haunt them.
Happy birthday Sirius for yesterday here is a quote from my text messages about Sirius' birthday.
Me: It's Sirius' birthday omg
Friend: imagine him spending his birthday in Azkaban
Anyways bye
~ Hazel