Jungkook perspective
it's been 2 weeks since y/n and i didn't see each other anymore, i was here in my dark cold room, hugging my legs and breaking down. I felt so messed up, i realized that I'm still not ready to let her go. But she already let go.
I honestly felt so messed and fucked up, after all what she had been through, and she chose to be nice to me— She was r4ped. i wasn't there for her, i didn't show up after that incident happened. But while that incident happened on y/n, i was there, fucking my ex.
Thinking of this made me fucking hate myself, imagine you're getting satisfied and fucking your ex while the person you love at the other side is suffering? It makes me think of myself that I'm so— terrible.
Then I'd get severely possessive when i saw her with another man, which would make her feel isolated. I shouldn't care about her being with other guys, but down inside i really do. I shouldn't fuck her in the first place, i shouldn't fuck her the day i knew they broke up and when she's tipsy.
Maybe i r4ped her.
But she said yes, she said yes before i could fuck her— But still, i shouldn't do that in the first place. If i didn't do that, she would've been happy or have been mine.
We could've been so good together.
I've been really lovesick after we both said our farewell and our last words, i can still hear her last words inside me.
"Bye jungkook! I'll miss you! Stop crying too, maybe you'll get a car crash! Stay safe!"
I can still hear those words inside of me, i can still see her smile and the way she waved her hand when she said those last words to me. I laughed, my mouth let out a laugh and a smile, while my eyes build up tears. I look like a fool right now, but after all, i am a fool.
I heard the door being knocked, i didn't even responded. I kept on crying in the cold ground, i heard the door creak open. And the person who entered was yoongi hyung.
"Jungkook.." I saw him coming close towards me, "Y/n told me everything, she told me to take care of you while she's gone." He look at me from head to toe, he can clearly see me, very untidy and messed up.
"Have you eaten?" Yoongi said with pity in his voice, the maids behind responded. "Mr. Jeon didn't eat his regular meal, he just ate once a day based on my observation. And he didn't ate today, Mr.Min" Yoongi slowly look at me, but this time he look really concerned. "Jungkook!" Yoongi went towards me and rub my back, I'm glad that someone was here to comfort me.
"Jungkook, it's okay to cry over her. But please don't starve yourself or don't do unhealthy things to yourself, don't break her promise!" Yoongi tried to encourage me to get up, somehow I can't.
"Yoongi, i need to. I hurt her, i should hurt myself to punish myself" I said with a tired and low voice, i closed my eyes. My eyebags were so heavy from having sleepless nights the past two weeks. "Hurt yourself to punish yourself?" He scoffed.
"It's already in the past, all you need to do is learn from it. Not to hurt yourself." Those words hit me, "If you just sit there and cry, of course your mental health will be destoryed. You need to your ass up and live happily. Just for y/n, please." Just for y/n....Just for y/n.
I sighed "I will try.." My hoarse voice spoked, yoongi let out a small smile on his lips. "Stand up, you should take a bath" He was about to go but i promptly grab his wrist.
"Y/n is still her apartment, right?" Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows, which makes my heart beat fast. "Didn't she tell you?" I saw him tilt his head on the side, my eyes got slightly wide in panick. "What do you mean by that, hyung?" Yoongi sighed and kneeled at my level.
