Just Pretend

Chapter Eighteen

Jason

'I'm going to take a shower. I feel like shit and I probably don't look any better, no matter what you say,' she says when I open my mouth to protest, so I smirk instead.

'Fine. But then we're watching a damn movie,' she smiles and nods at my words before turning and heading to the stairs, jogging up them quickly and I hear her bedroom door close a few seconds later. I feel lighter seeing her feel better, but I know it's going to take a while for her to be herself again.

I had one serious relationship in my life that I haven't told anyone about and haven't wanted to think about and she'd cheated on me. Since then, I haven't wanted to trust anyone enough to tall in love with them.

I know that I'm beyond in love with the woman upstairs and I know that she won't cheat on me because she's been through it three times.

Three times. Jesus.

She's brave and strong, two qualities I admire in her. In the four months that I've known her, I've never seen her cry, until today. I do not want to see her cry from sadness ever again, and may God smite me down with lightning where I stand if I ever become the cause of her sadness.

I can't tell her while she's in such a vulnerable state.

I put my phone in my back pocket before taking it back out and asking Alyssa to bring a pair of Will's sweats out to the fence. I'm not planning on leaving Gwen by herself for a few days. I'll go to my place tomorrow and get some spare clothes, but tonight I'll have to make due with Will's.

I walk outside and Alyssa's already outside with the pants and with Clarissa on her hip, her small hands holding herself up on the fence to look over it at me, her eyes concerned.

'What's happened?' Alyssa asks as I take the pair of sweats from her and the anger, I've been suppressing the entire day, rises up and my body starts shaking. Alyssa puts Clarissa down and tells her to go inside, she'll tell her everything, and I wait until Clarissa has disappeared into the house before speaking.

'The fucker cheated on her,' I grit out between clenched teeth and Alyssa's face turns into a mask of anger before she points out the very thing that's been keeping me calm the entire afternoon.

'Now you two can finally get together!'

I shake my head, knowing it's going to take Gwen a while before she's even remotely ready to date again, and I tell Alyssa as much. She laughs and shakes her head, telling me that Gwen told her about her relationship-mourning process, and it would take at most two weeks before Gwen's ready to move on.

'Oh, do tell,' I prompt Alyssa but she shakes her head and pretends to zip her lips shut before wishing me luck and leaving me alone at the fence. I head back into Gwen's house and pull out her rolling kit after dropping the sweats on the couch next to me. I love the identical one she's made me and I think about her every time I use it. I quickly roll up two joints and put them aside, looking up when I hear her bedroom door open. I put the kit away in the chest of drawers and my eyes fall on an ashtray, which I bring closer.

Her scent precedes her; the warm scent of cinnamon and vanilla wafts down the stairs ahead of her and I look up to see her dressed in a tight-fitting long-sleeved shirt and a pair of loose sweats with her hair falling loose down her back, looking down at me curiously.

'What're you up to?' she asks and I hold up both joints, the appearance of which has a smile spreading over her face as she jogs down the stairs quickly. I can't help but notice that she's not wearing a bra by the way her breasts bounce underneath her shirt.

My eyes follow Gwen until she drops down on the couch beside me and putting her feet in my lap, reaching forward to pluck a joint from between my fingers and putting it between her lips. I lean forward and grab a lighter from the chest, before dropping it in her lap. She smirks around her joint as she lifts the lighter to the tip of it.