Just Pretend

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Gwen

Having spoken to Burton about Jason in the hypothetical, I know I have to tell Jason how I feel about him.

When better than when he comes over later?

My nerves are getting the better of me and I start pacing even though it's hours before Jason is supposed to get here.

The meat is already marinating in the fridge and the potato salad has been made since six a.m. this morning. The rhubarb pie, that I found out is his favourite, is also in the fridge.

I've never been mad at Jason but just seeing him with that girl, even fully dressed, was enough to send me reeling again. Over the last four months, I've seen him in different states of drunkenness, and that night he could barely stand.

I sit down in the middle of the floor with Carrie, with my back to the front door and she sits down next to, resting a paw on my thigh. I put an arm around her back and put my head against her flank.

She's full-grown now and stands at my height when she puts her front paws on my shoulders.

After ten minutes of sitting like that, she jumps up and excitedly hurries to the door; her body and tail wagging madly and telling me who it is before I hear his truck.

I push myself off the floor and open the door just as he pulls up into my driveway.

When he hops out, I can see he means business; starting to open his mouth as he closes the car door.

'I'm sorry about the other morning, I don't think anything happened,' he starts, and pauses to think.

'It didn't,' I respond and he continues barreling forwards, barely giving me time to move out of his way as he way into the house. I close the door behind him, turning to face him.

'I don't want you to be angry with me –,' he continues saying as though he hadn't heard me.

'I'm not,' I interrupt and he nods absentmindedly, continuing on.

'And even if you are, I just need you to know how I feel about you.' This gets my attention and I keep quiet this time.

'I've fallen for you and I love you -.'

'I love you, too,' I take my chance but he doesn't seem to hear me, so I walk over to him.

'I don't care if you don't feel the same,' he says and I reach up my hands to cup his face and turn his attention entirely on me.

'Jason, did you hear what I said?' I ask as he continues talking, his eyes unfocused.

'Jason. Jason fucking Harrington, listen to me,' I say firmly to get his attention properly and he blinks; his eyes falling on me standing close to him. His hands instinctively go to my hips and I run my thumbs over his cheeks.

'Are you listening?' I ask him quietly and he nods.

'I said that I love you too,' I repeat and his eyes widen slightly, his hands tightening on my hips.

'You're not fucking with me?' he whispers and I shake my head. Jason pulls me into his arms, crushing his lips to mine and I moan into him, sliding one of my hands into his hair, relief coursing through me.

He tightens his arms around me and I stand on my toes to ensure he doesn't have to lean down too much. Jason doesn't hesitate and picks me up to carry me into the living room.

He sets me down on the mattresses and sinks down onto his knees, dragging me down with him.

I hear Carrie's paws up the stairs and I relax against him, his lips falling onto my cheeks and jaw as my other hand finds its way into his hair.