[Open] Multifandom One-Shot Book

~ Humanity's Last Hope ~

Fandoms: Actor RPF, Godzilla

Ship: Seth Rogen x Commander X (ironic)

Requested by ManchurianReject

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"IMBECILES!" Commander X stamped his foot angrily. "I SEARCH FOR A LEADING GENERAL THROUGH METICULOUS INTERVIEWS, YET I AM LEFT EMPTY HANDED! AND WITH IDIOTS WHO'VE FAILED ME BEFORE, NO LESS!"

The black-haired warlord screamed in agony. "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WRONG!?"

"Probably because of the low national minimum wage and the lack of motivation to work, people aren't interested in the lack of benefits from your open position, eheheheh."

Commander X nearly jumped where he stood. "Wh-who said that?"

"Why, your final job applicant, of course! I'm here for The Interview. Somebody's gotta help in this fight of Monsters VS. Aliens, eheheheh!"

And out of the shadows stepped Seth Rogen.

"Hold on a moment," Commander X raised his hand as if to halt Seth. "You are the final applicant? Seth Rogen? You!?" The Asian could not believe the stoner standing in front of him. "There is no way you're not a human."

"I'm gonna be honest with you, man, I'm high as fuck right now. I have not felt human since..." Seth's voice trailed off. "What does time taste like?"

Commander X screamed again, shaking the entire building this time. "AUGH! I'M DEALING WITH VERMIN! AND WHERE CAN I GET SOME MUCH NEEDED SECURITY AROUND HERE!?"

"Uh, that's exactly why you're hiring, dude. Man your memory must be Superbad eheheheh."

The ravenette sighed and turned to the celebrity angrily. "Fine. Prove to me you're at least capable of serving as security, if not a personal bodyguard."

"And how would I do that? Observe and Report eheheheh?"

"Just!" Commander X snapped, then sighed. "Find a way to. Amuse me."

Seth laughed his iconic laugh. "Seems like you Knocked Up a horrible interview process, eh bud?"

"It's hard to when most of my allies and I suffer from language barriers," Commander X scowled.

"Oh, wow, diversity in the workplace! Good on you, man."

"Yes, yes, and what can you contribute to this... 'diversity'?"

The Canadian-American shrugged. "I mean I can do this."

Then, somehow, Seth Rogen did a backflip and began to shapeshift midair. And, when he landed, in his place stood Donkey Kong.

Commander X gasped. "I... I thought you were just a human!"

"Sometimes."

"That's good enough for me!" X exclaimed. "You, Seth Rogen, shall be my personal bodyguard! I shall exterminate humanity, and my legion shall make this lowly planet our own!" He turned away from the gigantic ape and began to mutter to himself. "And if we're lucky, perhaps get married. He's quite the catch... for... well, whatever he is."

"You know I heard, like, all of that?" Seth immediately replied.

Again, X felt himself nearly jump and turned to face Seth, who was now human again. "Forgive me. Human extinction is still my top priority."

"Are you kidding? Let's just get married now. Right fucking now."

X arched his eyebrow, confused. "Now?"

"Dude, I'm so fucking high right now, a shotgun wedding is not going to leave this mind until I'm sober again."

The warlord shifted uncomfortably, still unsure of his feelings. Eventually he sighed.

"Alright. I'll see what we can do."

Seth pulled out a glass of a liquid Commander X didn't recognize. "Until then, a toast to our love. Let's get this Sausage Party started, eheheheh!"

Commander X blushed and began to drink. He admitted to himself that it tasted strange.

"Ah, man, I'm so hyped for this marriage. Let's do everything together. And I mean, like, everything. Let's do all the drugs."

"Uh, I don't really want to..." Commander X began.

Seth smirked at his fiancé. "Should'a thought of that before drinking a freshly poured glass of ecstacy."

X spat his drink out. "What!?"

But it was too late. Suddenly everything Seth said was vocoded to "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?"

And also Seth was Donkey Kong again. But Commander X didn't care. He was finally home.