broken glass

drowning

No one notices if you're alright.

You have to blatantly tell them or show them to see if there's something wrong.

That's how we're made. We can't read minds and reading body language is not the easiest thing to learn.

So hiding behind a mask is easier, you avoid the expectant "are you okay?" questions and just live as if nothings wrong

But really, you feel like drowning or falling into a bottomless pit with no where to go but the darkness masking itself as a comfort when really, it's the one who gave you this hardship

You fall and fall, drown and drown to the point that you're already holding on to that last breath of nonexistent air

and maybe one day, someone will see that you really need help

but that day is not today

Because we are so used to this cycle that our brains convinces us that it's normal

"You're just being dramatic,"

"You're just having a bad day, that's all."

And when you need the help where you cry for help this time

Instead of them helping you, they leave you.

They can't deal with this thing you're going through because, they haven't experienced it and they're so intimidated by it they cease to exist from your life.

So, you go back to your usual routine.

Hiding behind a mask that shows a bubbly smile instead of the tired look on your face.

You laugh to hide the misery that is yourself

You bottle everything out where you don't know what to do when everything explodes out of hand.

And when everything explodes you still have to hide it because you're scared of people leaving you

"The only person you can trust and lean on is yourself," a wise person one said

But what if that because of myself I'm slowly deteriorating and I don't know if I can bring myself up again?