Endless. - District 3 / GMD3.

25th of november. 

'Kyra wait!' Micky shouted, before he ran down the stairs towards me. 'what's wrong?' i asked, getting worried. 'i'm coming with you!' 'Mick, it's just the doctor. he'll probably tell me that there's nothing wrong.'  i told him.  'but.. i'm scared babe.'  he said, and faced the floor. 'don't be, it's alright.'  i said. 'are you sure?'  'yes, it will be alright.'  i kissed his cheek and walked out of our appartement. 

to be honest i was scared too. maybe there is something wrong. the doctor told me to come as soon as possible, why couldn't it wait a few days?

 -

'Hello doctor.'  

- 'goodmorning Kyra. i've got the results of the test.  sit down.'

-' it's really hard but i need to tell, i hoped it wouldn't come this far, but it did.-'  

'just tell me?!'  

- 'Kyra, you have cancer.'  

' cancer?! but i'm fine, i have no pain. i'm healthy, i'm happy. how can i have cancer?!'

- ' i'm sorry. it's taken over your whole body, we can't do anything for you anymore.'   

' what about an operation? pills? nothing, really?'  

- 'nothing. Kyra, i know it's hard but, you only have two weeks left.'  he said.

' and then?'

- ' then it's over. '

    what no. no, it can't be over!  i'm only 17!  i have a boyfriend, friends, i have so many things still to do in my life!

- ' i'm really sorry Kyra.'  

    easy for him to say.

 'thank you doc.' . 

 -  

'Hey babe! what did the doctor say?'  Micky asked as soon as i walked into the living room.  'it's nothing, he said the headache will be over in 2 weeks or so.'  i said, and sat down next to him on the couch. 'glad it's nothing worse!' he smiled, and wrapped his arm around me.  'i told you it would be alright.' i winked. 'yes, i should listen to you more often.'  he laughed.  i smiled and kissed him. 

i can't tell him the truth. it will break him. i just, i can't. 

26th of november. 

After Micky left yesterday night to Dan and Greg, i made a bucketlist. not only with the things i could do in the next two weeks, but all the things i wanted to do in my life. here it goes: 

'' - Meet the love of my life.

- Go to Paris.

- Kiss under the rain.

- Have a tattoo --> a matching one with my partner.

- Get my bellybuton pierced.

- Have my 'first time'  --> you know what i mean right?

- Fly in a helicopter.

- Bunjeejump.

- Have a banana muffin as my last meal.  --> yes i love these.

- Have childrens. -->  one girl named Emily, two boys called Elliot & Caspar. 

- Go on a holiday with my (best)friends.

- Have a romantic dinner in a luxe restaurant. --> cheesy.

- Become old with my partner.  --> this one will never happen though.

- Die with my love by my side. --> but not at this age! ''  

that's it, i really hope a lot of them will come true in the next two weeks, although i know some of them won't, which make me sad.  i don't want to think of my death all the time, i want to be happy, for as long as i can. i want to be able to say 'wow, i loved my life'   and not be sad all the time.