The Magic Between Us

Treacherous

Micha's lips were so close to mine that if I tilted my face ever so slightly, we would kiss. But the moment passed by us in an instant before he rolled away. I tried to convince myself that I had imagined it. The silence stretched between us, as it often did, and I watched as the sun illuminated his caramel colored skin. Micah and I had the friendship that didn't rely on words and usually we could tell what the other was thinking. Today, however, his gestures gave away nothing.

"If I tell you something embarrassing, can you promise not to tell?" His eyes glittered when he looked at me. I rolled over onto my stomach and tilted my head to the side. He already knows the answer to that question. Over the years, Micah and I have become the secret keepers. We tell each other all the things we think we can't tell anyone else. He raised an eyebrow, and I realized he was waiting for me to respond.

"Based on the sacred vow of our friendship, I am sworn to secrecy." I said in a grandiose voice. He laughed, a sound that is so hearty and sweet that I felt like I was being swallowed whole by the sound.

"Okay, you can't laugh either." His face was serious now, and I sat up just as he did.

"That I cannot promise," I winked, making him laugh again, "but seriously, just tell me."

He took a deep breath and my heart raced with the anticipation of what he was about to say.

"I kissed Gemma." He blurted out.

"You what?" I yelled, surprised.

"Well, she kissed me. I don't know who moved first, but we kissed!" He runs his hands through his hair.

"When?"

"Studying in the library the other day. I was helping her work on color magic and it just kind of happened." He sighed and leaned over the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees.

"Oh." My voice was barely a whisper. I had plans to study with them that afternoon, but a meeting with one of my professors went longer than expected.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." I throw myself back into the pile of pillows at the headboard.

"Tate, you can't lie to me."

"Well, I'm not lying." I grabbed a pillow and held it against my chest as I played with the ruffle trim for support. "Did you... like it?" I looked away from him.

"I'm a guy, of course I liked it." He said with a chuckle.

"I mean, do you like her?" I looked back at him, trying to hold back tears I didn't know were there. He met my gaze before he replied and I could see the hesitation in them.

"I... think I might?" His voice was a question, like he wasn't sure of the answer. I felt my heart sink at the thought.

I was about to confess my own feelings to Micah before I stopped myself. I didn't want to tell him how I felt, only to have it ruin our friendship. And Gemma was also one of my closest friends. If she liked Micah enough to kiss him, then I knew that it had meant something to her too.

"You should tell her how you feel." I said, even though it felt like my heart was breaking.

"You think so?" I watched Micah's face light up at the thought of telling Gemma how he felt about their kiss.

I nodded, "If Gemma let you kiss her then there's a good chance she feels the same way."

"But what if she doesn't?" Micah seemed unconvinced, even though we both had known Gemma long enough to know that she did nothing she didn't want to do.

"Micah, if a girl can't see how brilliant you are, then she isn't worth it." It was the closest I had ever come to telling him my true feelings. He smiled at me then, a smile that made me feel warm inside although all I wanted to do was crawl under my blankets and cry.

"You're my best friend, you know that, Tate?" He pulled me into a hug from which I never wanted to leave.

"Don't tell the others you said that." I laughed.

"Weir would definitely take it personally." We were both laughing then, the tension of Micah's admission and my silent heartbreak broken. I knew that once he had left I would regret not being truthful about my feelings. Would Micah even choose me if I had given him the choice? I decided that at that moment I was okay with not knowing, because what Micah needed was my friendship.

"I guess I should probably get going." Micah and I made our way to the door in that awkward dance of conversation and longing and not being able to say goodbye. We hugged again and when Micah pulled away, he looked down at me. I thought about kissing him again and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing.

"Off to tell Gemma how you feel?" I asked, caught by my morbid curiosity. I must have really wanted my heart to be shattered into a million pieces.

"Tate, it's Gemma. You know I can't just waltz in there and tell her how I feel. I need to have a plan." We stood both inside and out of the dormitory door. The hallway was empty as it usually was on Sunday mornings.

"Flowers, dinner, wine, and dancing. Then you tell her." I responded matter-of-factly. Everyone liked to think Gemma was complicated, but she really just liked the same typical romantic gestures that most girls appreciated.

"If only it was as easy as you make it sound." Micah pulled his phone out of his pocket and scrolled aimlessly for a minute.

"It is that easy, you're just afraid of her." Everyone was afraid of Gemma, but that's why we all loved her.

"True. Well, better be off." He said as he gave me a side hug in the doorway before he walked down the hallway. As I stood there watching him walk away, I begged myself to make him turn around.

"Stay..." I whispered, but Micah was already too far away to hear me.

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Note from the Author:

Treacherous was a heartbreaking chapter to write. I think everyone has probably felt this way at some point in their lives. Ignoring your own feelings in order to make the person you love happy.

We are in the thick of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and I'm working on my manuscript (a fantasy romance with a train heist). I have one more part of The Magic Between Us drafted for 11/15 and then there might be a lull because of NaNo. I am far enough ahead with my word count that I should be able to dedicate some time to staying on track though!