You Belong to me (Cordelia x Reader)

Season of Giving

TW: self harm tendencies

You didn't want to break up with Cordelia. You loved her more than anything else. You loved her for so long, that you didn't know what to do with yourself now.

You used to think about her all the time. Imagining what it would be like to confess to her, cuddle in the same bed with her, and even marry her. But now, it was all over. You had only a few weeks to live your dream.

You hadn't left your room since that night. You didn't want to face Cordelia. But, you did know that you would, when she's ready to talk. You decided to avoid her until she approaches you first. You were giving her space.

And when that day comes, if it does, you were ready. If she was indeed still in love with Misty, despite her being dead, you were prepared to leave. You didn't have it in you to be someone's rebound, you weren't emotionally stable enough for that.

But, if Cordelia whole heartedly was ready to love you, and not dwell on Misty, you were ready to fall into her arms.

It had been a week since you broke up with Cordelia. You spent your day staring at your Lock Screen. You loved that photo of Cordelia. Her pure smile. You wished she still smiled at you like that.

There was a gentle knock on the door. You turned around in your bed and saw Zoe standing there. She was holding a bowl.

"Hey, I have some Dinner for you," she said softly as she placed the bowl on your night stand.

"Thanks," you said and then turned on your phone to look at your Lock Screen again.

Zoe sat down on your bed and stared at the floor. Her feet swung nervously.

"You know, I've never seen you like this before. Well, besides when Misty died." She said.

You didn't reply.

"You should get out. Go for a walk or something. Get some air."

"I don't want to go downstairs, Cordelia might be there."

"(Y/n), Cordelia hasn't left her room either." Zoe whispered.

"What?" You sat up.

"Yeah, Queenie has been bringing her food."

"Well I hope she thinks about what I said faster. I would rather her turn me down sooner so that I can leave."

"There might be a chance she'll get over Misty. She didn't know her for very long you know."

"True."

"We'll enjoy the soup." Zoe got up and left the room.

After Zoe left you inhaled your soup. You hadn't been eating as much since you decided to camp out in your room.

Zoe was right though, you should probably go for a walk.

You slowly climbed out of your bed. You pulled on a hoodie and some running shoes.

Good thing it was dark outside because you looked pretty horrible. You looked into a long length mirror in the corner of the room. Your eyes were still red and swollen. You sighed and left your room.

You carefully stepped down the stairs, praying that they wouldn't squeak under your weight. When you got to the bottom you leaned around the corners hoping that Cordelia wasn't in sight and was still in her room. You saw Queenie and Zoe sitting in the living room.

You waved at them as you headed towards the door. They waved back sympathetically.

As you stepped outside the cool winter breeze filled your lungs. You took a deep breath and headed out of the gates.

As you walked down the streets you looked at the houses you past. Their lights glowed and displayed happy families inside. Sitting around a dinner table, smiling.
It made your stomach sick.

You placed your hands into your pockets and decided to re route. You thought it would be nice to walk down a Main Street with stores. There would probably be Christmas decorations in the windows considering Christmas was only a couple days away.

The windows illuminated the streets with their festive lights. You loved looking at decorations. You stopped in front of a store that displayed a small town. You watched a train circle the fake snow and plastic houses. But you moved on when a couple came out of the store laughing and holding hands.

Your mouth was feeling dry, so you paused at a cafe. Maybe they would have some hot chocolate. You opened the door and the warm air hugged your cold face. You sat down at a table in the corner of the room.

It was a small cafe, but it was cozy. There was a Christmas tree by a small electric wood stove. There were several other people in the cafe, all sitting at the tables around you. You pulled out your phone to take a photo of the tree, but stopped when you heard a few people gasp. You lowered your phone to see what was going on.

A man in a long dark coat was on his knee. In front of him was his partner.

"Yes of course!" The other man cried while he slipped on the ring the other man was presenting.

"I cant wait to spend my Christmas with you as a family." He said lovingly.

Everyone in the cafe awed at the happy sight. You had to admit, it was very cute, but you couldn't take it.

You stumbled out of the cafe. Everything reminded you of what you could have had with Cordelia. You wanted the perfect Christmas with her, the ice skating, the family dinner. You walked quickly down the street while keeping your head down. You heard people laughing and shouting 'merry Christmas' in the distance.

You started running.

You didn't know where you were going, but you ran. It felt freeing to run. You felt like you were escaping. Releasing.

You reached the end of the street and saw a beach. You walked across the street and down towards the water. The waves gently hushed your horrible thoughts. It soothed your soul. It called to you. The dark waters seemed to welcome you. You gazed down the shoreline and saw a long boardwalk stretching into the ocean. You walked up a hill and onto the wood.

You stood staring out down the infinite docks. It was dark and you couldn't see where it ended. Although, you saw the ocean. Where the horizon hit the deep blue sky.

You started sprinting.

You wanted to reach the end, fall into the frigid waters. Let it take you, escape. Leave your complicated life behind. Lay in the ocean forever.

You kept sprinting. The wood pounding under your feet and the cold air hugging your soul. You felt tears fall from your eyes. Whether it was from the cold air or not, you weren't sure.

You almost reached the end, but you saw a dark figure. You stopped right behind it. It was sitting on the edge of the dock with their feet hanging over the edge.

"Hello?" You called out.

Your eyes adjusted and you realized the figure had long blonde hair and was wearing a toque.

The figure turned around to face you. You saw their deep brown eyes look into yours. Soft and sad.

"Cordelia?"