Loki's Endgame

Chapter 36

Loki

Loki's heart burned from over emotion, tears falling freely from his eyes. This was all too much for him.

It had been five years since he had seen his brother... he had missed him dearly... not that he would ever admit it... Thor was being particularly irritating this evening... more so than normal... and yet he wanted nothing more than to hug his brother. They hadn't hugged since they were children.

Thor had said his dearest love could return... his sweet, sweet Y/N... could she really come back? Come home to him?

He wanted to believe it more than anything else in the universe... his heart ached for it to be true... he had never wanted anything more in his sorry state of a life.

But he wouldn't allow his heart to hurt like that again... he wouldn't survive it another time... not again... he couldn't have hope to lose it all again.

He wrings his hands around one another.

"Come on Loki! Who would have ever thought the God of Chaos and Mischief would ever fall in love at all?!"

Loki chokes, Thor was being so stupid once again... refusing to see past the glamour and illusion... his beautiful, perfect Y/N... even if she came back... how could she ever fall for him again?! How could she love the man under the facade?! Loki looks down at himself under the glamour, seeing the torn and tattered grey tunic sitting below the illusion of regal armour. He takes a seat, exhaling deeply on feeling the intense grief in his stomach. A tear falls from his face, seemingly breaking through the semblance... Thor flinches at the sight... there was no point hiding any more... Thor needed to see... he needed to understand...

"She wouldn't love me like this..."

A wave of magic sweeps over him softly, like one of the sheets in his royal chambers, and unveils the harrowing sight of his true form underneath.

Loki felt and no doubt looked like a mess.. he refused to have mirrors in this room... he couldn't look at the man he had become. His hair falls lank, long and curly over his face, cascading over his shoulders from the neglect of it over the past four years. He feels his cheekbones and eyes sunken in, and his clothes hang loose from weight loss. He was rarely hungry... he never exercised... he never really did anything other than lie in bed and sob for his love. His hands are heavily ladened with blisters and scars from wringing his hands in anxiety, his bare feet, dirty and bleeding from the rough stone floor.

He thought the pain would pass over time... subside into a dull ache instead of the agony in his soul. He had waited, distracting himself by destroying Thanos' accomplices, throwing himself head on into war and anger. It didn't work... his heart continued to burn, the sorrow choked his throat every single day, for five years. He had no energy and no motivation to go on.

Loki very slowly lifts his head towards his brother, who towers over him. Loki nervously places his hands in his lap.

Despite everything... Thor smiles. He actually, genuinely smiles.

"You need a haircut brother... but it's good to finally see you, the real you, I've missed you."

Loki curls his leg under the other, sitting as he did when he was a boy. He was beyond hiding his vulnerability. The tears were already sweeping down his face and staining his tatters of fabric he called clothes.