anodyne

chapter 10

jihoon's eyes are filled with tears. he persistently keeps them inside, not letting even one fall on his cheek. when mashiho puts a finger on his lips, whispering: "doyoung fell asleep. we need to talk" he follows the other to the kitchen, with his head hanging low.

he hoped mashiho would scold him, yell at him, throw everything he had wanted to accuse him of for a long time. however, he did something else which made jihoon's heart shatter into countless pieces.

"doyoung is sick because of you and your careless behavior."

he can feel his knees weaken, every breath he takes seems to burn his lungs, he gets shivers and wishes it was all a dream. a bad dream, a nightmare. he wants it to end already, he wants to wake up, open his eyes in a new, better reality where the first sight he sees is doyoung looking at him with that magical twinkle only his gaze possesses. he wants to see his doyoung now. right now.

"I am sorry." is the only sentence that makes it out of his lips, and not waiting for mashiho to add anything, to reason his previous sentence or maybe give him more details, he runs out. in no time he is back in front of their doors. he turns the knob, pushing the obstacle very slowly, not to cause too much commotion. he had a thought on the back of his head that doyoung was asleep.

at last, he managed to enter and close the door after. quietly approaching the bed he can smell the intense herbal fragrance. mashiho must have used some sort of medicine to help the other recover quickly. as jihoon gets closer, on the drawer nearby the bed he notices a cup with a white haze still steaming from it, tissues, some pills with unknown purpose, and a thermometer.

doyoung was provided with the best care and yet he asked for jihoon only. because jihoon was the best to alleviate the pain, to soothe the dizziness, cool down even the highest temperature, get rid of what's bad and what's troubling. for doyoung, jihoon was the one remedy he was in need of.

when the older finds himself under the warm quilts, hugging the small body to his own, he let some tears of regret and relief appear. he finally embraced his most precious thing, he had the one he loved in his arms and nothing else mattered. now he could protect him.

"h-hyung...'' a whisper, very raspy and feeble one reaches his ears.

doyoung turns towards the other, leaning his body fully to jihoon's body. most of the time he would instantly feel the warmth spreading to his body, engulfing it utterly but this time he himself was like an active volcano. so no change of temperature could be sensed.

jihoon can't utter a word for a minute because the emotions have overwhelmed him, and he doesn't want to show it through a trembling tone. he stays quiet and most probably only thanks to this, smothered sobs soon reach his ears. he knows the source, so his embrace tightens, even more, he leans his head more to the other's head, rubbing them together in a comforting way.

"it's... it's been a while..." doyoung's almost inaudible words somehow make their way to jihoon since he is so close. "it's been a while s-since I had your attention."

jihoon shuts his eyes because the droplets of tears became too heavy to carry them hidden anymore. he fights back the hot liquid, whilst silently pecking doyoung's head, temples, and finally wet cheeks. once the sobs from the younger quiet down and jihoon has enough courage to speak up, he utters stilly.

"I am here now you needn't be afraid. I won't leave. today I stay. I stay with you."

// ✧ //