Suicidal Midoriya x Todoroki | Invisible

1 | Don't Lie

A/N:
this fic is pretty boring until chapter 7 or so, and the quality isn't great, so i apologize for that.

。。。

Izuku Midoriya

Midoriya didn't know how to describe it, but he didn't feel "right." He figured that he'd simply overworked himself with studying and training, but he'd never experienced the physical and mental ramifications that he was currently experiencing. The idea of visiting a doctor had crossed his mind multiple times, but he told himself that the feelings and thoughts would fade, and that he'd have more time to rest if he persevered through the bulk of his work.

One night, however, while Midoriya was snuggled up next to Todoroki, his boyfriend and best friend, Midoriya was unable to sleep. He couldn't help but brood over the intimidating list of things he needed to do the next day, the day after that, the next week, and so forth and so on. His body begged him to shut out his thoughts and concentrate on sleeping, but each time he managed to drown out his anxieties, they resurfaced soon after.

It'll be fine, Midoriya began to tell himself as he turned over onto his left side. Yeah. I can do it. I can get the work done. It's a lot... It's really a lot, but I've had more work before. Like the training plan that All Might had for me. But...I just...would rather not do this at all. Izuku. Izuku.

"Izuku." Todoroki's voice pierced through Midoriya's thicket of thought.

"Huh?" Cold sweat snaked down Midoriya's back as he gradually dragged himself back into reality.

Todoroki turned himself around to face Midoriya. "Is something bothering you?" His voice was reduced to a soft whisper. "You're never awake this late."

"What about you? You go to bed before I do."

"You've turned over six times in two hours."

Midoriya swallowed thickly. "S-Sorry. I probably kept you up... But I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed. It's nothing I can't handle, though." He offered a smile in the still darkness of the room.

"What's overwhelming?" inquired Todoroki, whose head tilted a bit.

My thoughts are one of my worst enemies, Midoriya reminded himself. I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy of my Quirk. I'm not cut out for the things I want the most in life. It would be a lot easier...not to exist. My friends are always worrying about me because I end up acting recklessly. It's...kind of pathetic.

"Well, I don't want to keep you up. Besides, you have your own things to worry about. I don't want to add on to that..."

I have to be strong enough to handle my own problems. I can't rely on other people to always help me up. No challenge is too great for me to overcome. Right.

"I'm all ears, Izuku."

"But I feel like I'm always bothering you when I talk about myself. Like I've obligated you to listen to my problems. You should really be sleeping instead of listening, Sh—"

Todoroki nonchalantly pushed himself into Midoriya's chest and rested his head on Midoriya's shoulder. "You're more important, and you're not bothering me at all. I like hearing your voice." He exhaled slowly while his heartbeat reverberated through Midoriya's chest.

I'd feel bad about it, even when you say that. "You're making me blush..." Midoriya sheepishly sighed. "But it's really nothing, Shouto. Just school and the usual stuff, you know? Just more stuff than usual. Besides, I'm sure it's nothing compared to your busy schedule." His voice tapered off into silence.

"Izuku, I'm worried about you." Todoroki did not raise his voice, but rather, he whispered his sentence. "I've been worried for a while. That's why I first offered for you to sleep in my dorm a few months ago. Why I make extra soba and share it with you. Why I ask how you're doing so often, and if there's anything I can do for you."

I don't want you to worry about me, Midoriya thought to himself while guilt seared his insides. I keep trying to not make you worry, but I can't even do that right. I feel so bad... He's been doing all this for me because he knows it's been helpful. He's so sweet...but I feel like I do nothing in return for him. I thought I was the one saving him, but it turns out that it's the other way around. Am I...just a failure as All Might's successor? Somehow, everything I hope to accomplish just becomes a distant dream I can't quite reach. The ones I can reach are only possible because my friends help me to get there. I'm...nothing on my own.

"Sh-Shouto, I..."

"Don't lie."

"But i-it's really nothing. In comparison to—"

"Why did you send me that message a few hours ago?"