Twoset Gloved

12. Twoset Pre-Gloved: Heartbroken

Brett hated running, but he felt he had to get to Duncan's house as quickly as he could. By the time he got there, he had run as fast as he could for a good 15 minutes and the metallic taste of blood made him want to throw up. His chest felt constricted when he saw that there were two removalist trucks parked out in front of Duncan's house. Brett saw Duncan come out of the front door of his house with a cardboard box with a removalist logo on it.

"D.. Duncan..!!"

Duncan looked up. He looked drained. He looked worn out. And he looked very sad. But worst of all, he smiled at Brett. It was the worst fake smile Brett had ever seen. Duncan spoke to Brett through the fake smile plastered on his face.

"Hi, Brett... How was your day at school today? I hope you enjoyed your first day back at school?"

Brett, still out of breath, stepped over to Duncan and stammered;

"Duncan.. what's.. going... on?"

"I.. we're moving. My dad got a transfer to Perth."

Tears welled up in Brett's eyes.

"N.. no.."

Duncan kept smiling. He had no tears in his eyes.

"I.. I'm excited. I heard nice things about Western Australia.. I'm looking forward to it.. So.. I guess this is it. Thank you for being.. a nice.. friend of mine. I wish you all the best, Brett."

Brett shook his head as he felt tears streaming down his cheeks. His voice hitched as he mustered up the courage to convey his feelings;

"W..what? N, no.. why...? A.. friend? You said you. .loved me.. and I love you, too."

Brett tried to step closer to Duncan to give him a hug. He wanted to kiss him, too.

The next moment Brett felt the cardboard box pushed into him, Duncan was using it as a barrier so that Brett could not hug him, let alone kiss him. Brett eyed at the cardboard box that was placed in between their bodies, preventing them from making contact with each other. He then looked up at Duncan's face. Tears kept streaming down Brett's face.

"Duncan..? Please, Duncan.. I.. I love you."

Yet, all the while Duncan's face had worn the same expression, that fake smile.

".. Goodbye Brett. I hope you have a good life."

Duncan stepped towards the truck, dumped the cardboard box into the back of the truck and walked back towards his house.

"Duncan.. please..!"

Brett reached out and grabbed Duncan's arm. Between sobs, Brett kept asking;

"Why? I.. I don't want us to end like this.. please.. Duncan.. tell me what happened...? I don't understand why..?"

"Brett.. it would be best if you leave. I will... be in trouble.. if I am seen with you.."

"W..what?"

"Brett, please.. if you still care about me.. please leave now before we're seen together.."

Brett heard the door of Duncan's house open and saw Duncan's eyes widen with fear.

Brett immediately let go of Duncan's arm and slowly took steps back away from Brett.

"Duncan... I.. I'm sorry you have to go.."

Duncan bit his lower lip.

"Brett.. thank you.. for stepping away.. thank you.."

Brett didn't know how he got home. He staggered back into his house and overheard his mother talking with Nanny Meagan in the living room.

"He ran out of the house? You couldn't stop him?

"Not to worry Madam, that Duncan boy would've been punished so severely, he would not want to have anything to do with Master Brett anymore, thank goodness."

"I thought they were just very close friends.. They are only twelve.. Surely it would have been innocent curiosity.."

"Oh no, I heard neighbours talking.. what that boy did to Master Brett when they thought people were not looking.. taking advantage of Master Brett's innocence like that.. tainting him.. it was filthy and disgusting..."

People saw us..? And they told Meagan?

The kissing and cuddling were.. disgusting..?

Brett just made it into his bedroom and collapsed on his bed and let out a cry like an injured wild animal. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and shredded into a million pieces. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't stop shaking. And he couldn't stop crying.

"..Brett has not come down to have his dinner."

"Not to worry Madam, we'll save his dinner and will leave him a note before I finish up for the day."

I cried myself to sleep. Duncan's fake smile still gives me nightmares. The saddest part was that I can no longer remember Duncan's real smile which I still remember as the most beautiful thing in the world. That weird expression he had, that artificially neutral look he had plastered on his face, the last expression I saw of him, had overwritten his beautiful smiles and I feel like throwing up every time I get stuck with that image in my head.

The following morning I woke up at 6:30 AM as usual and went into the bathroom. I washed my face then dried my face and hands with a towel. Then I heard Meagan's voice in my head.

"Filthy and disgusting.."

As I wiped my hands with the towel, I felt like my hands weren't cleaned properly and I thought I'd better wash my hands again to make sure they weren't filthy and disgusting.

After washing my hands again with soap, my hands still felt filthy and disgusting.

So I washed them again.

Then again.

And again.

About an hour later, Meagan arrived at my house around 7:30 AM. She usually came around that time to prepare breakfast and pack my school lunch for me. She came to check on me in the bathroom. She said I had been in a trance, obsessing over washing my hands, insisting my hands weren't clean enough. I was crying and begging her to make me stop washing my hands because no matter how many times I washed them I felt like I couldn't get them clean. Meagan was getting frustrated too because no amount of convincing satisfied me that my hands were clean enough. I was gradually building up more and more emotional distress and it peaked when Meagan got so frustrated that she forcefully turned off the taps, took the soap away from me and tried to get me to dry my hands by trying to wrap my wet hands in a towel. I screamed and cried in panic.

"NOOOOOOOO!! That towel is filthy and disgusting because I used it!!!"

It was the beginning of my nightmare.