Tooru had never been the one to fall first. It was one of his life. He was sure he would never do it in the future too. It was something he was very against.
He could be the perfect boyfriend to them yet they weren't able to share him with the sports he's declared to be his whole life. He got into relationships knowing they would never make him fall in love. He knew they'll not be the one to chase after him as he follows his passion.
He wasn't bothered by it. He liked dating and having someone beside him. But that was it. He didn't expect anything long term.
He never expected the love he wanted as a child watching movies with forever ever and afters.
After his last girlfriend broke up with him over a forgotten date just before the spring high, he was pretty done with the whole dating game. Afterall, they would eventually have to do it when he was leaving for Argentina after graduation.
They couldn't handle a single forgotten date, he can't imagine what they would do when they hear the news of his departure.
He wanted to devote everything in the tournament and focused solely on it. He practiced, practiced and practiced. He ignored every ball and crude names thrown his way from his best friend and worked himself to the point he lucid dreamt about his serves and sets.
But in the end, it wasn't enough.
Like always.
The fate of his career looped itself back again. It was written in big capital letters all over his hardships.
Beaten by a genius.
Nothing less and absolutely nothing more.
He hates geniuses. He absolutely despises them. He hates Ushijima for his mighty act of superiority. He hates him for questioning Tooru's choices. He hates him for calling his pride worthless.
And most importantly, he fucking hates Kageyama for being the setter with skills that could evolve his technique to perfection. He hates him for being a cocky little shit and acts like every move he does isn't inspired by Tooru in a way. He hates him for still looking at him with worshipping eyes even from the other side of the court.
He hates Kageyama for making him feel guilty for hating him.
So when one day, the same blue eyed boy who took away all his chances to go to nationals and prove himself in the country he calls home stood in front of him with eyes holding emotions too intense for him to look at yet too intriguing to look away telling him about his feelings, he couldn't get out the words and sneers he had the opportunity to use.
"Oikawa san, I think I have feelings for you. I don't know when it happened. I think, it might be from the start. I don't think it's a crush at this point. I didn't want to. I mean I didn't mean to tell you about it. But I heard you're going away after graduation. I wanted to tell you about it before I lost the chance."
What should he say to that? He can't for the life of him bring himself to say anything to the younger setter. He can't answer why. He doesn't want to answer why.
He wouldn't like to know the answer anyway.
The boy before him wasn't the same boy he met in his last year of middle school. The boy he met was all stars and innocent curiosity. But now, he looked like someone who has this undying hunger and Tooru could almost not recognize it if not for the fact that he is the same behind all his bravo and insecurities.
"I didn't expect an answer. I know that you wouldn't feel the same. I just wanted to let you know. I really wish you the best for Argentina, Oikawa san. You are one of the best setters I've seen and I hope I become someone you could be proud to know." the coal haired boy bowed and looked up at him before slowly walking away.
No, maybe the boy from before might have hidden away somewhere inside Tobio too.
He knows why can't say anything now. They both have lots to see and learn. They have dreams to run after. They have places to be and conquer. They still have to become their own person. It's not the right time.
He wants to be someone he himself can be proud of.
"Tobio chan." he calls after the boy who he hates a little too much.
"Ah?" the ocean eyed boy turned back in confusion. He's confused too, he supposed.
"Let's play against each other again."
"Wait for me to become someone who can stand on the court against you. Wait for me to become someone who can love without any clouds."
Tobio smiled and nodded.
He felt himself smile too.
He swore at that moment everything disappeared and they were back at the gym back in Kitagawa. They were smiling at each other without a worry in the world.
"We will." he knew they would.
He wasn't the one to fall first. It was more of a process.
︿︿︿︿︿───︿︿︿︿︿
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
