I enjoyed reading your story very much. I see you've invested a lot of time and effort in it. Chapter length is adequate, the pacing is superb, and you balance all the elements of the narrative perfectly. As regards the cover, maybe add a bit of colour and a swan/raven combination, not just the wings. Just a suggestion.
Your grammar is always on point. I just spotted a repeated "the" in chapter 1. Your use of language is perfect and not heavy to read at all. The blurb is really good, with all the basic ingredients and leaving me intrigued!
I wondered how you would mix a historical storyline with lesbian characters, but the result is truly believable and bewitching. The plot looks like a loose rewriting of Cinderella, but it's much more than that actually. Maybe some readers/judges could complain about a mild info-dumping in the middle of chapter 1, but I love facts and hard-core world-building, so... not gonna complain there. I enjoyed her stepmother's ill-treatment – it felt so real, hitting hard where it hurts most! A riveting read from the very start! To be honest, I'd suggest you send a query letter and the first chapters to a publishing house immediately.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I like the title. It's unique and has got a nice ring to it. But I think that there are too many words on the cover (maybe cut out the mention of the series, or make the size smaller and place it either at the top or the bottom).
The use of language could need a bit of polishing. For example: in chapter 1, you mention twenty-one years of "survival" when the narrative voice has just mentioned she's always been pampered and lives in a well-off environment. The word "survival" sounds quite odd there. Another example: rage can't be satiated (appetite or thirst do, but not rage). In chapter 2, the use of the verb "birth" is unnatural... and it works the other way around. Birth means giving birth, not being born (for example: "My grandmother birthed all five of her babies without medical intervention" vs what you need in your dialogue: "Why was I born here?" instead of "Why did I birth here?", which is what your character says to complain).
