Akira hadn't carried hope for a long time. Maybe she stopped back when her mother died and her father became distant—undoubtedly loving, but focused on something about which his young daughter had no clue. Maybe it was when her father died too and she became an orphan without anybody to lean on.
Whenever it was, she had learnt with time that hoping was a dangerous task not to be attempted by the faint-hearted—which unfortunately she often became whenever she chose to bare her emotions.
So why was it that when she saw Takizawa down on the auditorium stage, crazed and bloodied, her heart beat frantically to a rhythm of hope?
She tried not to let it show, forcing herself to remain as she always was, unfaltering and strong. She had a duty to the CCG and to each and every victim of the ghouls.
But in her dreams, she had no way of throwing up a shield against the thoughts that swarmed her. Her mind kept rewinding that cold rainy day when she realised she had lost everything in her life once again as she dropped to her knees amidst the carnage… but they weren't lost to her.
Takizawa was still alive. Could he as well…?
Akira hated how that very possibility made her heart beat even faster, throwing itself at her ribcage like a trapped bird. She thought of the long evenings spent at the graveyard, endless flowers passing through her fingers as she mourned for bodies that had never been retrieved.
She was consumed by the memories of the past, of them and her, when the Quinx Squad went up against some ghouls from Aogiri and Saiko was saved by a mysterious figure.
Akira had no way of knowing who it was, and yet, that treacherous hope took root.
"He was really tall!" Saiko told her in private, raising a hand to indicate how much. "I couldn't see much because it was dark and he was wearing a hooded cloak, but he was using some sort of a rod." She demonstrated that too, in a stance with her legs slightly apart.
"You're sure it was a ghoul?"
She nodded. "When he turned his head, I saw a kakugan. He left pretty quickly after that."
"His arms," Akira said before she could stop herself. "Did he have both arms?"
"Huh?" Saiko startled at the unexpected question, then tilted her head thoughtfully. "Yeah… but one of them had only three fingers. It looked pretty weird. The other was normal."
"Which arm?"
"Um… his… his left. That was the weird one."
Akira let out a breath and forced herself to remain calm.
"Thank you for your time, Saiko."
"No problem!"
She waited until Saiko had left before leaning on the wall and closing her eyes. Left arm… that was the one he had lost in the operation. The only remains they had found.
Akira hated hoping, but right then, she allowed the flame of it to consume her whole.
