Losing Hope

Chapter 47 - Naked

(Him - Ryder) Now...

"Baby girl, I wanted to go on a date with you tonight but we can cancel if you prefer." I tell her.

"No, I would love to go on the date without! How long do I have to get ready?" She asks, making me smile.

"As long as you need. I just need to check on something and I will be waiting for you in the living room."

"Give me an hour, and I will be ready." She smiles shily.

"Great! See you in an hour Baby girl." I say and I peck her lips quickly before leaving her room.

Goddess, I wish I could shift now! I need to run. I pass through the portal then run out of the pack house. I only stop running when I'm far enough into the woods. I want to scream or to smash something. Before I can do it, I hear a noise on my back and when I turn around I see that my father and Ivy have followed.

"How am I going to do it? I already know that I don't deserve her but I'm not strong enough for her. I'm not worth her!" I state.

"Love is not about deserving each other and you're stronger then you think." Ivy consoles me.

"She needs me right now and the only thing in my mind is to kill that motherfucker! I want his blood! The need to hunt him down is so strong."

"Yet you're not hunting him now because you know Hope needs you here." She retorts.

"I'm quite sure if my wolf was not dormant, I would be hunting him now." I disagree.

"No, you wouldn't have. Hope has always been your priority. Your mate is always the priority for your wolf." Dad states.

"I remembered when you met Hope, just after I gave birth to her. I've never seen a kid act like that. As soon as you met her she became your world. With your mother we were sure you would finish mated together." Ivy adds.

"Still, how can I help her when I'm breaking down just knowing what she went through. She's so strong while I just feel sorrow and hate."

"You didn't break down in front of her. You should give yourself more credit." Dad says.

"He's right. You're feeling as if you failed her and when you see her suffering, you're overwhelmed by a feeling of powerlessness." Ivy adds.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"Because we all feel the same as you." Dad explains.

"But feeling powerlessness will not change the past nor help her. So the best we can do is to be here for now." I say.

"See! You're stronger than you think." Ivy smiles.

"Thank you!" I reply.

Now it's time to be the mate Hope deserves!

I tell them: " I need to go, I've a mate to pick up soon."

"Wow! I can't believe you did all of this! This is so amazing." Hope says looking around us.
We're at the waterfalls in the tent as the nights are fresh here. There is a big pouf for us to sit together and a low table full of food.

"Anything for you Baby Girl. Though I've to tell you I didn't cook."

"Thank Goddess, except if you took classes I think you still suck in the kitchen." She jokes.

"Yeah... I'm still a bummer in this area."

"I think this is your mother's famous pie. I guess I need to thanks her for that meal."

I nod and say: " Shell we start my lady?"

"Absolutely I'm starving!" She beams.

We start to eat and to speak about everything. The discussion is flowing between us, it's just natural. While she's eating, I can't take my eyes off her. She's so breathtaking in that black dress with her light make up. She's a natural beauty. I'm a lucky bastard.

"Goddess Hope, I love you so much that sometime it's hurting me. Right now when I'm looking at you my feelings for you are so overwhelming that I can't breathe. You're the best gift I've never received in my life. And I'm sorry because my love for you was so obvious that ve never proove it to you. I should've spent every day showing you how much you mean to me. When I look back now I know how stupid it's but I was waiting for you to show me that I mean as much you mean to me. You were so indifferent, even cold and I was so insecure so I waited for you to take the first step... I shouldn't have... I know nothing is perfect and that we've a lot of things to fix and we need time and also don't want to lose another second without you. I want to have you in my arms every night. I want to tell the world you're mine so that nobody takes you away from me. I know I don't deserve you but I'm too selfish to let you go! You're mine Baby Girl!"

Tears are running along her cheeks. Did I say something wrong?

"I'm yours, Ryder. I've always been and always will. There is nobody else for me but you. I love you too, more than anything. I don't know if I deserve you but I'm too selfish too. Me neither I don't want to spend another second away from you. We lost too much time already and it's my fault. I should've trust you, I should've-"

I cut her:" With if we can redo the world. I don't care what you should've or shouldn't have done. You're here with me now and it's the only thing that matters."

"I'm so scared!" She whispers so low that almost misses it.

"About what?"

"I'm so lost and broken. I don't know if I will become myself again. If I do, I don't know how long it will take. You need someone strong by yourself, to guide the pack with you. I don't think I can do that. After all the things Anatoli did to me... I can't even use my gifts anymore! Maybe you should choose-"

"Don't finish that sentence!" I cut her again.

"When I look at you the only thing I see is a strong woman with a golden head. You might be wounded now but it's only a wound that will heal with time. What he did to you does not define you, that makes you a survivor. What defines who you are is your acts. You were able to fight him and never give up for more than 6 months! That shows me how strong you're. How far you can go to protect the ones you love. What I saw of you in others memories made me realize how you're my dream girl mentally and physically. I know you're feeling lost and hurt right now but deep down I still see the same fire burning inside you that makes me fall in love with you even more. When I look at you now I only see my perfect match and I feel like I'm the luckiest man in the world! You're so beautiful and I can't wait for you to bear my mark." I declare.

She smiles and asks: " I would be even more beautiful with your mark! So are you waiting? For me to beg you? Because I already did and I can beg again if it's what you want."

This is the only consent I was waiting for. She doesn't have to ask me twice, even if the idea of her begging for it is tempting... But we've already lost too much time. I launch at her tempting lips right away.