Mockingbird: a Songbird Sequel

Twenty-Nine: Colt

And life barreled on. It barely took a whole day back at home for me to realize that this was where I wanted to be. Where I NEEDED to be. Yeah, I loved music, and I loved playing, but I wasn't interested in doing it on a level that took me away from the people I loved. I was fine with playing every other weekend with my cover band. I was fine jamming out around a bonfire, laughing and drinking with the ones I held close. I didn't need fame, or a label, or a fancy recording studio. I'd done that. My life was different now, and it was exactly what I wanted.

Beau, on the other hand, I think would've paid money to be anywhere else. My boy was stressed out beyond belief. He was grouchy, he was quiet, and something was eating at him. Didn't take a genius to figure out it probably had a lot to do with a certain pregnant, overly hormonal, moody sixteen-year-old also currently residing in our home. Their little teenage love story had grown tense in the last few months, and I could see Beau's string about to snap. So, for his birthday, the weekend before Thanksgiving, I told him to call a few friends, and we headed out to the lake house, Travis in tow.

I usually took Carter along on these trips, but I hadn't spoken to him since the group meeting in Nashville. It didn't really sound like anyone had. All I knew is he had yet to return to Snyder. Apparently he was off doing some soul searching or some shit. I didn't know, and I didn't honestly care. Sure, I missed our friendship and the way things used to be, but they weren't like that any more, and I didn't know if they ever would be again.

On Saturday night, I caught Beau out on the dock by himself. Kid looked like he had a million things on his mind and it broke my heart. Don't get me wrong, I knew the position he was currently in had everything to do with his own decisions, but that didn't mean I liked seeing my kid miserable, and if I could do anything to change it, I was damn sure going to try.

"What's going on, bud?" I asked, sinking down next to him looking like he was in his own world.

"I don't know," Beau responded dejectedly. "Just trying to clear my head, I guess."

"Looks like there's a lot going on in there."

"I guess."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really," he chuckled.

"Might help," I offered with a small smile. "Your ol' dad's been through some shit in his life. Might be able to help you figure it out."

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I'm not gonna get mad, kid. I just wanna know what's eating at you."

Beau took a deep breath, like he was gearing up to tell me something big. "I don't know if I want to be with Maggie any more."

I let out a shocked exhale of breath that sounded a bit of a laugh. "What?"

"I'm not happy," Beau continued, "and I feel like a dick saying that but it's the truth. I just turned sixteen and I feel like I'm fucking married. I mean, she LIVES with us. I can't even just put my phone away and take a break. She's always there and she's always upset about something and I feel like I'm losing my mind..."

"Okay, kid," I interrupted, rubbing his back softly as he rambled. "I know shit's hard right now, I get it, but are you sure you don't want to be with Maggie at all or are you just stressed out?"

"I don't know!" Beau cried. "I don't even have time enough to figure that out! I thought this weekend would help but she's been texting me nonstop, freaking out about how I just 'left her'! Even here, I can't catch a fucking break!"

"Okay, take a breath," I stated, trying to school my expression and not show my own internal struggle with the situation. "This isn't a decision you can make when you're all wound up, Beau. If you end things with her, you're gonna break her heart and you're gonna have to be prepared to deal with that and if it ends up not being what you want, it's not going to be easy to come back from...."