Acceptance

Your not the one

Jimin woke up he hadn't meant to fall asleep but couldn't help it. He felt Jungkooks arm around him and smiled, carefully removing himself from the bed he quietly made his way out and went to the kitchen , opening the cupboards he saw there were the ingredients for making cookies and energetically set about making a batch , humming as he did so.
The beautiful smell of baked cookies  swept towards the bedroom Jungkook was in. His nose twitched and his  eyelids rose , the other side of the bed was cool, Jimin must have been out for a while. Swinging his legs over to the floor he stood up and went to the kitchen .
One plate of cookies  was already cooling off  and more were in the oven  Jimin was dancing around the kitchen holding a wooden spoon like a mic and singing until he caught  Jungkook looking at him.
"Er hi?"
"You seem happy,"
"I feel..........enlightened, all the drama I hung onto for what?Hobi said I'll have another chat with him today but he really doesn't think I need more, you can sit in if you want?"
"If you want me to I will."
"Great, oops better get the cookies out," Jimin removed the batch from the oven placing them to cool, before washing everything up, Jungkook swiped one off the plate and walked off to shower.
It was early afternoon and Hobi had turned up, as Jungkook was going to stay they sat in the sitting rooom.
"So Jimin,let's talk about anything that causes you anxiety  or sadness."
"Ok,Erm , I feel sad and guilty about not contacting Old Grandma and Jisoo, they lived in our street and helped me when all this happened, Jisoo was also a target of my uncle."
"So what do you think made you lose contact?"
"Er maybe I was trying to shut down or forget that part of my life?"
"Yes it was a defence mechanism , but now you are strong enough to see it for what it was so why not seek them out?"
"I'm worried about going back."
"I told you the past can't hurt you."
"Your right, I need to man up."
"What would you say is your best coping mechanism?"
"Oh Kookie of course he's helped me a lot."
Jungkook smiled at the other," you need to cope for yourself, I won't always be there."
"Why?"
"Huh, well because.......eventually I'll want to settle down and have kids."
"You can adopt,"
"But why would I if I get myself a lovely wife?"
Hobi watched the two, he could see Jimin twisting his fingers a sure sign he was agitated and it had something to do with Jungkook.
"So Jimin what worries you about Jungkook saying that?"
"I-I thought, er maybe, that he, that we, maybe we could....be together."
"Jimin, I like you a lot and the time we spend together but.....,it's not like I promised you a future is it, I didn't like seeing you hurt and wanted to help."
"So what we did together was what?"
"It was two consenting adults enjoying life,"
"It felt like more."
"Come on Jimin, grow up, you experimented, doesn't make us the happy couple," Jungkook said getting irritated.
"You knew I didn't know much about that stuff was it a game for you?"
"You enjoyed it as well, don't play the sexually harassed victim here!" As soon as he said it Jungkook wanted to take it back," Jungkook!" Hobi said going to the now obviously distraught boy.
"Jimin I didn't mean that,"
Jimin felt like his body was a block of ice numb no feelings, he held himself together and quietly said," I think that's enough now Hobi , thank you," before turning  and going to the spare room where he licked the door.
"Good one Kook!"
"I never,damn it why did he think we were going to be a forever couple?"
"Maybe because at his worst times you are there for him, for someone who's had nobody that means a lot."
"Ok but I'm not a bloody kids comfort blanket, he needs to get a backbone!"
Well I'm going call if either off you need me and just think on why your so defensive."
Hobi left, Jungkook sighed, what had just happened? He walked to Jimins door," Hobi's gone do you want to come out, maybe talk about why you got the wrong impression ?"
"No"
"Damn it Jimin you can't hold me responsible for your mistake, I agree the words I used were wrong, I don't always think when I'm angry."
"I don't know why your so angry, is the thought of being with me that disgusting?"
"Your twisting things,Damn it Jimin....., when you see sense we will talk about it, I'm going out."
He picked up his keys and a jacket then stormed out.
Jimin unlocked the door, he slowly packed up all his stuff and called a taxi. While waiting he wrote a heartfelt note for the other, leaving it in full view as he went out.
Jungkook had walked around, gone into a cafe sat there for hours thinking.
Why did Jimin think they would be a couple he never said he was gay, he liked girls too.
Well maybe jerk ,because you said you wanted to fuck him?
The voice in his head said.
Yer but everybody does that sort of thing!
Innocents like Jimin don't !
I'm not responsible for him....
But you made him think you were, searching for him, sorting help, tucking him up in your bed, you do that with everyone do you.
No of course not it's just that Jimin is.....
Special,loveable, someone you really want around?
Your annoying you know that?
I'm you idiot.....
Fuck Jungkook your so busy running away from things you don't see what you have, he ran back to his apartment banging open the door,"JIMIN!"
Silence greeted him.
He saw the note and grabbed it up
Dear Jungkook
You had every right to be annoyed at me.At no given time did you say we were an item. I suppose I've been so desperate for someone to like me that I made up things in my head, I realise that I've been selfish taking your time, your apartment and trying to inject myself into your life, I should as you say grow up, I'm not living in a fairy tale your not here to rescue me so I give you my apologies.
I'm going back to my apartment to decide on my life, I need to be in control of myself before I insist on someone taking me on.
Good luck in your new venture, I have asked Namjoon to cancel my contract, I expect to pay a fee for doing so, but that's part of growing up right, being responsible for your actions.
Jimin
Jungkook just stared at the note, Jimin had left him.
He immediately rang his number, no response.
Then his phone rang.
"Jungkook wheres Jimin , why is he quitting?"
"He left,I don't know, maybe so he wouldn't see me?"
"Shit! You better not have hurt him,"
"Why would you say that?"
"Yer your right sorry,  everyone can see how much you love him ,"
"Woah! Wait, love?"
"Of course, that's clear each time you two are together ."
"Oh fuck!"
"I don't like the sound of that......,what did you do?"
Jungkook sighing told him everything.
"You asshole, you let Jimin sweet kind I don't think others like me Jimin, who let you into his life easily because he thought you cared a lot, go with the impression he was just a passing fling, how do you think that's going to affect him? And you Mr scared of commitment would tell him someday in the future your only going to get a wife because you want kids and he unfortunately doesn't fit the bill! That's an insult to him and others like Jin and myself!!"
Jungkook felt ashamed of himself he had always thought of himself as a tell it straight kind of guy but he was really a coward, he'd known all the time that he was happiest when with Jimin even looked forward to each new day, yet when confronted by the one he cared about he'd panicked lied to himself and Jimin and then felt affronted by being questioned .
"I'm sorry Joonie your right what the fuck should I do?"
"Tell him the truth if he'll let you ....and stop him quitting, we have had sensational feedback from those casual photos Suga took of him"
Jungkook hung up , what could he do to make up for what he'd done? An idea came to him one that would need looking into and planning  properly, he hoped Jimin could forgive him.