remains • b. barnes

6

I woke up an hour before me alarm, like I usually did. Bucky had somehow managed to fall asleep in the wicker chair with his arm still propped on the bed for me.

One of us had moved while I was sleeping—I still had both my hands around his, but that was all I was touching. I felt bad, looking at him slumped down in the chair. He didn't even have a pillow or blanket, and he couldn't get one because I was clinging to him.

His hand was near my face. A wave of affection flowing through me, I scooted my head forward and kissed his knuckle.

He sat up, calm but alert. That was all it took to wake him up apparently.

"Did you just kiss my hand?" he asked fondly, alert, not even a little groggy.

"Is that okay?" I asked, embarrassed, squirming down until the covers were up to my neck.

"Yeah, do it again. I was asleep."

I tugged his hand back to my lips and pressed another kiss to it.

"Thanks," he said. "Did you sleep okay?"

I nodded. "I feel bad. How long were you asleep like that?"

"Half an hour. It's fine. I don't mind it at all."

"You were barely even asleep, you woke up so fast."

"Yeah, I did that so I'd still know what was going on. That's how I know you kissed me."

"Oh."

So he could control how deeply he slept. He could be aware of his surroundings even in his sleep. And he didn't mind sleeping on the chair. My heart hurt thinking about why he might've had to do that before. I kissed his hand again.

"Go back to sleep; you've got time," he said gently. He rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

"You can sleep in bed too if you want," I said, forcing the words out nervously.

A smile spread across his face, but he shook his head, "I can't. I gotta be in a chair to half-sleep."

"Oh. Sorry," I said. I wasn't sure why I apologized. "You can just regular sleep, though."

"Nah, I'm seeing this through until daylight," he said. "Can I lay down with you anyway? I just wanna hold you."

I frowned. "No. I want you to sleep. You have to work today too."

"I don't really need as much sleep as most people."

I pouted. "I still feel bad. I wish I hadn't woken you up. I didn't mean to."

His thumb stroked my hand again. "I don't mind, sweet girl."

He almost seemed amused by my concern. Or maybe he just liked it. He was smiling a little, looking at our hands.

I was struck by an idea. Not letting go of his hand, I kicked the covers off of myself, got out of bed, and sat on his lap. I turned sideways and pulled my knees up, my feet resting on the edge of the chair next to his thigh. I tucked my face into his shoulder. His right arm wrapped around my back, while I kept holding his left hand with both of mine.

"Now you can sleep and hold me," I said, satisfied.

"You're such a little fuckin' doll," he muttered incredulously.

"What d'you mean?"

"I mean—" He cut himself off and watched me as I brought both of our hands to my mouth, used them to cover my yawn, and then settled them both back where they were against my legs. "Yeah, that's what I mean."