Drowning in Poetry

Voices

What broke her?
I hear all the questions
Why is she sad?
I hear everything you say
What happened to her?

Every comment
She's just faking it
Every false accusation
It's all for attention

Every single word
But she used to be so happy
Even the ones unspoken
What happened to her?

The questions swallowed,
Is she okay?
Too afraid of an answer
What broke her?

The scary part is, she broke herself
Without even realizing it

She was there for so many people
That she couldn't be there for herself
She was such a good friend
She was friend she never had
She told everyone not to bottle up
Without knowing that's what she had

She built walls around everyone she loved
She built so many walls,
She didn't have anything left to build her own with

Maybe she loved too many people,
Maybe she cared too much
Whatever the reason,
It cost her so much

Some said we should be more like her
So accepting, so understanding,
So loving, and so kind
But the only voices she listened to
Were the ones telling her otherwise

You're stupid
They said
No one could ever love you
She listened

You're so ugly
She believed them
Nobody wants to listen to you whine, just shut up
So she did

Nobody cares about me
She told herself
And why would they?
She believed herself
I'm just a stupid little girl

She told everyone she was fine
Nobody wants to listen to me
And they believed her
I don't blame them either
Because she always had been

Why would they? I'm just an ugly girl
She let them destroy her,
I'm so ugly
Invade her mind,
No one will ever love me
She let them break her
I'm a pest that no one wants around

She heard everything they said
Everything would be easier if I were gone
And she trusted every word of it
I should just leave
Never doubted it for a second
That would make everyone happy

That's how she broke
She heard it all, she still does
She hears all the questions
She broke herself
She's sad because she listened to the voices in her head
She loved too many people, built too many walls
No, she isn't faking it
She's trying to avoid attention
Yeah, she was happy, but that was before
She bottled it all up
No, she's not okay, and she never will be
She broke herself

The scariest part?
I still hear it all
All the voices, comments, questions
I still hear the swallowed words

I hear words in everything;
Nervous glances around me,
The averted eyes,
The looks of pity,
And most of all
The people pretending to understand

Nobody understands, not fully
My words, the voices,
They can be such a bully
There's nobody else
That knows the full story
Only me and the voices
And that's why I broke