The Dilf's Desire

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Life Goes On

~Louisa POV~

There was a faint ringing in my ears, it's like every little thing around me was magnified, I could hear the water dripping from the tap, I can hear the birds playfully chirping outside. I could hear my thoughts constantly asking me why I sent Atticus away, but I couldn't answer because I didn't know. I can also hear someone calling my name.
Louisa, Louisa,Louisa.

"Louisa." My therapist snapped me out of it. Oh-so she was the voice-makes sense.

"What's going on with you, I haven't heard from you in weeks,how have you been?" Miss Lola asked me, looking at me concerned. I had my hair in a ponytail, I looked like a teenager with my mini dress.

"Well-I've been good Miss Lola." I said with a soft smile. Atticus and I are no longer doing what we did, he-he loves another woman and I wouldn't come in the way of Alister having a mother figure."

"Didn't you think you were like a mother figure to Alister?" She asked and I gulped down before smiling softly.

"Not so much-I could never be a mom to him, he-he saw me as a nanny, he loves me like that."

"It didn't seem like that by the looks of the file when you said he called you mommy, not once but twice."

"That was an obvious mistake, he wasn't aware."

"You said he is three?"

"Four today." I said excitedly. Yes, today was Alister's birthday and I was really excited, the house was so dull since I found out that Atticus was still in love with Rose but Alister is who mattered to me.

"He's at the age where that isn't confusing, he sees everything as it is."

"But I couldn't, I don't see it."

"Are you looking for it?"

"No." I said calmly.

"Then you wouldn't see it. You mentioned that you missed the opportunity to be a mother since you were told that your baby had died." She said and I pressed my lips together.

"Yes."

"And you also said that you told Atticus that it was a girl, was it?"

"The doctors said it was a girl."

"What if it was a boy?" She asked and I chuckled.

"The books were quite accurate."

"So you really care about this kid, this Alister?"

"Yes, I care about him deeply, he means the most to me."

"Hypothetically speaking do you ever think that instead of a girl, it was a boy and that baby boy didn't die?" She asked and I stared at her blandly.

"No-my baby died Miss Lola."

"Did you see your dead baby?"

"No-I-I was asleep."

"It's just hypothetical, it's okay, I realized you've become more alert."

"Sorry, It caught me by surprise but I'm certain, I'm certain my baby girl died." I said emphasizing the word girl.

"I believe you, it's okay, I do." Miss Lola said and placed a sticker on my chart.

"I'll see you next week Miss Louisa."

"You too miss Lola." I said before getting up to leave. I stepped outside the building and took a deep breath in.
This is why black people don't go to therapy, they dig up the world. I'm certain it was a baby girl. I don't have to be Alister's mother to love him.
I went to the mall and picked up a t-shirt I ordered for Alister that had our picture on it and a beautiful toy car with Atticus's credit card of course.