The Great Chaos of 1812

9: The Duel

"Good evening, Pierre. Studying?"

"Yes. How was the opera?"

"Lovely. Natalya Rostova was there."

"Oh? Oh, dear Andrey betrothed? I have known her family for years, and long carried affection for her."

"Yes, charming. Look, Dolokhov's coming 'round, and we are off to the club. Will you come, old man?"

"I will come."

"Lend me 50 rubles?"

*******

"Drink, drink. Gonna drink tonight, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink, gonna drink, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight, gonna drink tonight. Gonna-

"Drink, drink. Gonna drink tonight, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink, gonna drink, gonna drink tonight. Gonna drink tonight, gonna drink tonight."

"Raz dva tri! Drink with me my love, for there's fire in the sky and there's ice on the ground. Either way, my soul will die."

"The doctors warn me, that with my corpulence-"

"Corpulence!"

"-Vodka and wine are dangerous for me. But I drink a great deal, only quite at ease after pouring several glasses mechanically into my large mouth. Then I feel a pleasant warmth in my body. A sentimental attachment to my fellow man.

"Keep drinking, old man."

"Keep drinking, old man. Drink the whole night through. Keep drinking, old man. Keep drinking old man. Drink the whole night through. Keep drinking, old man."

"Natasha, Natasha. Her arms, her shoulders, her neck, her feet."

"The air of a connoisseur."

"I will make love to her."

"Better not, monsieur. She's first rate, but nothing but trouble. Better wait till she's married."

Anatole is married man, a fact known only to his intimates. A Polish landowner of some small means had forced him to marry his daughter.

"Never mind about that now. It doesn't matter; I don't give a damn. Just as a duck is made to swim in water, God has made me as I am. All I care for is gaiety and women, and there's no dishonour in that. As long as there's money and vodka, I'll keep a feather in my hat."

"I used to love, I used to love. I used to be better."

"Keep drinking, old man."

"Drink, drink, drink. God, to think I married a man like you."

"Don't speak to me, wife. There is something inside me."

"Dolokhov, pour me another!"

"Something terrible and monstrous."

"Here's to the health of married women," and a smile lurks in the corner of my mouth. "Here's to the health of married women and their lovers."

"Here's to the health of married women. Here's to the health of married women and their lovers. Here's to the health of married women. Here's to the health of married women and their lovers."

"How dare you touch her?"

"You can't love her!"

"Enough! You bully, you scoundrel. I challenge you."

"Oh, a duel? Well, this is what I like."

"He will kill you, stupid husband."

"So I shall be killed. What is it to you? Anatole, my guns."

"Oh, this is horribly stupid."

"Well, let's begin. This is child's play."

"As the adversaries have refused a reconciliation, we shall please proceed with the duel. Ready your pistols, and on the count of tri begin to advance."

"Raz dva tri!"

"Pierre, hold your fire. Pierre, hold your fire. Pierre, not yet!"

(Pierre shots Dolokhov.)

"No! Shot by a fool."

"No, wait, I didn't mean-"

"Quiet, old man. My turn."

"My turn..."

"Pierre, stand back!"

(Helene screams.)

"Missed, missed. Oh my mother, my angel, my adored angel mother."

"Take him away."

"The sun is rising. The duel is at an end, and Pierre Bezukhov is the winner."

"Winner?"

"You are a fool."

"Well, sweet sister, you certainly bring out the beast in men."

"What can I say, it's a gift."

"How I adore you. Will you ask Natasha to the ball tonight?"

"Of course, dear brother."

"Come on, old man, let's get you home."

"In a moment."

"Sleep it off, and be happy. We live to love another day."