It's you | Jenlisa

13

LISA POV

"Lisa" her soft voice called me

"yes Nini, are you ok now" i asked in a soft tone. i could feel her nod against my chest, "good" i stroked her hair and i could feel her playing with the strings of my hoodie.

"Lisa what's that on your arms" she asked still laying down peacefully but voice filled with worry. at first i was confused because i was wearing a hoodie but then realised that my sleeves were up. shit. the habit i have of rolling my sleeves pisses me off at times. i don't want Jennie to worry about me but i can't lie to her but maybe i should i don't want her to be disappointed, so maybe i could lie. it was as if she read my mind: "don't lie to me Lis" her puppy eyes gazing into mine. i sighed before positioning me and Jennie in a sitting position. i debated whether i should tell her, i feel her hands on top of my shaking ones and rubbing her thumb over my knuckles calming me down and a reassuring smile across her lips.

" Lisa if you wanna tell me take your time and take deep breaths, ok? and its ok if you don't want to te-" i cut her off, " no it's ok Jen i want to tell you, i-i trust you" i let out after thinking off how and what im gonna tell her about my shitty messed up life. i let out a shaky breathe.

"my m-mom for as long as i can r-remember she's been a drug addict b-but never as bad as n-now, my dad had always been there to support us financially w-working, 2-3 jobs whilst my mom brought randos home, im guessing her junkie friends who supplied her" i sobbed out trying to stop myself from crying, "she would sleep around with the people she brought home whilst dad was out she'd always verbally bully me saying things like oh 'your such a waste of space' 'no one loves you' stuff like that and then when i turned 10 thats when my dad fell ill he had to stay in hospital because of his condition, i visited him everyday for those two years, i took care of him, kept him company when his so called wife and my mother was whoring around getting high every fucking day! she never once bothered to visit him once" at this point i was uncontrollably sobbing, i feel Jennie's petite hand rub my back soothingly calming me down a little "he died when i was 12. ever since then i felt like i lost my best friend, my mother 's abuse got worse by the day. i felt so hopeless i just wanted to die, i did try and commit but for some reason i managed not to. i had come to the point that i couldn't cry or feel anything so i-i had started cutting at 12 but when i met Rosie at 14 she was like an angle she helped me stop, until a few days ago i relapsed after my mum beat me up"

"oh my god Lis! i'm so sorry" she hugged me, "your so strong and i'm proud of you! i can't believe you had to go through that" she said, voice muffled in the crook of my neck.

" it's ok im used to it by now" i replied feeling her body leave my embrace but hands still on my neck

"no it's not ok Lis. but i'm just happy that you were able to trust me enough to tell me this" she caressed my cheekbones looking into my eyes

" of course i trust you nini" i said gazing at her facial features, my eyes flicking down to her lips and so did hers. i felt my heart beating super hard against my chest as we moved in slowly until our noses touched. she leaned in too kiss me. when our lips connected it felt right, the way they moulded together just right, they connected like a jigsaw puzzle. i felt a euphoric feeling going through my blood at the touch of her soft lips against mine.