Everything Sucks! Season 2 (KEMALINE)

Episode 1 Part 2 - Phone Calls and Christmas Eve

- Kate -

December 21st, 1996

It's officially been twelve hours since I've seen Emaline, so enough time has passed that I can call her without seeming like a stalker. It was the first time we saw each other by surprise in public, and the way she acted around me with other people around left me feeling really weird about it.

I know we're not telling people about us yet, and I don't even know exactly what we are, and I know it would be awful for both of us if anyone ever found out about any of this. But still.

It was one thing when I just had a secret to myself. Well, myself and Luke. I like girls. But now, being someone's secret? Being each others' secret? That's... well, actually, there's something sort of endearing about that. But it also makes me feel sort of powerless. Like, we can never tell anyone. If we fall madly in love, will my dad show up to my wedding? Will I even get to have a wedding? Who do I talk to if we fight? And what if we break up? I'll be totally crushed, but I can never tell anyone why.

And now I'm crying and I don't want to seem like a baby when I talk to Emaline, so I guess it will be twelve hours and five minutes after the incident when I talk to her.

I grab a tissue and take a couple minutes for some deep breaths. I can make this work. Every other teenager gets to have a relationship. I can too.

Assured as I'll ever be, I grab the phone from my bedside table, and dial Emaline's number that I definitely don't have memorized. It rings. And rings again. Oh god, three rings, she's probably-

"Hey, sweetie," she opens.

"Emaline! I- hey- you- I-. Hi," I finally get out. She giggles.

"So I-" we both start at the same time.

"You first," I say. We both laugh. After our laughter dies down, she starts.

"I'm on vacation with my parents. They're off at a movie or something. Are you alone?" she asks. I'm taken a little aback by the question.

"I- yeah, my dad's at the grocery store," I respond.

"Okay," she says, before taking a breath. She senses my hesitation.

"Sorry, I... It's just, I've never done this before. I've never liked a girl. I've never even considered it as something I could, like, do. And don't get me wrong, you're so amazing, I'm just... I'm just scared," she rambles.

It breaks my heart to hear her say that, but at the same time, I feel the exact same way.

"Yeah. Yeah, I totally get that," I agree. "It's hard to be yourself in a world that keeps screaming at you to conform. But Emaline Addario, I've never known you to conform." She giggles.

"But at the same time, I'm not ready to, like, say anything to anyone," I continue.

"Yeah, me neither," she continues, and I can sense the sadness in her voice. As much as it sucks, we both know that in order to survive high school and the world as we know it, we have to keep this thing, this beautiful, amazing, wonderful thing, to ourselves.

"So," I start, hoping to lighten the mood. "What exactly is it we're not telling anyone... that you're my..." I trail off. She laughs.

"Kate Messner, will you-" she cuts herself off.

"Shit, my parents just got back. Listen, I'll talk to you when I get back, okay?"

She hangs up before I get the chance to respond.

______________________________________________________________________________

December 24th

Sherry and Luke are over, which is the perfect distraction from this Emaline drama. I haven't heard from her since we talked on the phone the other day. I understand how she's feeling, and I feel similarly, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck.