I couldn't let Marilyn go though, could I?
If Marilyn found out I kissed Twiggy I would have wished I'd let him go. I needed to tell him. I needed to tell Marilyn what went on and give him the choice whether I should let him go.
Standing up I felt a stabbing pain in my stomach making me collapse in pain. What's happening? The pain was uncontrollable, I let out a scream desperate for someone to help me.
I heard footsteps coming towards me and there he was. Twiggy.
"What's going on?" Twiggy asked, taking on a panicked tone.
I couldn't answer. I'd curled into fetal position and my eyes were watering. I felt warm. Too warm. My body squirmed and jolted.
Out the corner of my eye I saw Twiggy on the phone. "Ambulance ... She collapsed .... She wont stop screaming .... 20 ..." he knelt at my side and checked my pulse, "It seems pretty normal ... her face is going red and shes sweating ... what do I do?!" His voice was getting louder with each word.
Suddenly he put the phone down, rested my head on his lap then stroked my hair while shouting for Marilyn. I was falling in and out of consciousness due to the pain I was feeling. Twiggy begged for me to stay awake until Marilyn came down and took the place of Twiggy. My body was trembling and my head was burning.
My eyelids dropped and I fought to stay awake. When my eyes opened I was lay on my back, a mask giving me oxgygen in an ambulance. Marilyn was sat in the corner. The pain had dimmed and my sweat was cooler.
The doors of the ambulance opened and my bed was taken out and ran through to a small white room. Marilyn by my side all the way. The doctor arrived to take blood and give me a routine check up. She attached me to a heart monitor then left us saying she'd be back with the results later but I was to stay in hospital for 24 hours.
The doctor left and Marilyn kept hold of my hand. "I better call the band, they'll want to know whats going on." Marilyn sighed pulling his phone out of his pocket. He told them the situation and that he'd let them know any updates.
Marilyn climbed onto the bed beside me, with my back to him, his breath was on the back of my neck. He stayed like that all night.
The next morning, the doctor came in, just as Marilyn went to track down a coffee machine. She held a clipboard in one hand and flicked through what I could only imagine were my notes. "Darcie Wood, what you experienced yesterday were due to the intake of marijuana. As you probably know, the pains don't usually occur. But usually happen when pregnant." WHAT THE FUCK?!?! "We ran some tests and you are in fact, two months into your pregnancy."
My mind was racing. After my last pregnancy scare I tried to use condoms every time... but that didn't always go to plan. And now I'm two fucking months pregnant?! My period had always been irregular so I guessed I couldn't really have known as easily. Could I?
"Is the baby hurt?" I asked, my voice was shaking.
"It's too early to tell, but your baby's alive so thats a good sign." The doctor said. Her face softened, "Weren't you aware of your pregnancy?"
"No, no I had a pregnancy scare about a year ago and I thought I'd been using contraception but I guess we forgot it a few times." I shrugged, now I was panicking. I needed Britt here. Or Rosie.
Or Twiggy.
I needed someone to hug me and tell me it would be okay. The thought of Marilyn finding out scared the shit out of me. Britt and Rosie should be at the airport now. I hoped someone was there to pick them up as I was supposed to be there. It's hard to imagine, Marilyn being a father. It's hard to imagine I'd be a mother in several months because abortion was not an option.
Marilyn walked in holding coffee. Caffeine isn't to be consumed during pregnancy. The doctor nodded and said, "I'll give you two some time to talk."
Marilyn handed me the cup of coffee and sat on the bed beside me. He wasn't ready for a baby. Neither was I. "What's the news?" Marilyn asked tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I just need to cut out alcohol and drugs." I lied, "I had an allergic reaction to the weed."
Marilyn wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. If he was worried about that lie, what would his reaction be to the truth?
Around mid day I got discharged from hospital and took a taxi home. The only thing on my mind was the baby. Maybe putting the baby up for adoption would be for the best. Marilyn wasn't ready to settle down, neither was I. Marilyn expressing himself on stage would have to stop if he was a father to stop the child getting bullied at school.
At home I was greeted by hugs from Rosie, Britt and Lee. Twiggy kept his distance reminding me of yesterday. Another reason I couldn't be a mother. Everyone sat at the table eating McDonalds, curtesy of Rosie and Lee. Rosie ate so much so quickly. All her food was super sized. The thought that I'd soon end up like that scared me. I didn't want this baby. I didn't want to be pregnant. I didn't want to give birth. I didn't want any of this. Taking my phone out of my pocket I texted Twiggy who was at the other end of the table, I need to talk to u. Not just about yesterday xx I needed to speak to him. He could help me. He could talk to Marilyn and he could just tell me it would be okay and wouldn't judge me.
Twiggy replied with K.
"I need a smoke." Twiggy said standing up and walking out the house because with preggo Rosie there his head would get torn off.
"So do I." I said following Twiggy.
Outside it was cold and before Twiggy had the chance to light the cigarette I took it out his mouth.
"So what do you want?" Twiggy asked.
Taking a breath I let it out in one breath, "I'm pregnant." Seeing Twiggy's shocked face I carried on, "I'm two months pregnant and I'm so, so, scared of telling Marilyn." Tears glistened in my eyes as I stood facing Twiggy staring at the floor.
Pulling me into a hug Twiggy rested his head ontop of mine. "So what you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna put it up for adoption."
Twiggy nodded. Silence passed between us until he said, "You know, I do need a cigarette."
I nodded and headed back to the table. As I turned a corner, Marilyn was stood there. His face looked pained and worried.
"You're pregnant?"
