My Constant

20

Shub's pov:

"Ishan will you please leave me alone" I snapped at him on call

"Fine I'll send virat bhai.. " He was saying when I cut him off

"Dare you do that ishan he needs rest ,you are not going to disturb him unnecessarily and for God sake leave me alone for sometime"
I hang up with that

We lost today's match, and I again got out on a duck, usually I don't think much on dismissals but when I get out like these I can't stop myself from thinking where am I lacking, back to back two ducks and if this is not enough these people are not letting me breath in peace, if I'm not performing criticise me na why the hell they have to blame them for every fucking thing

I heard foot steps
arghh  noooo why can't this guy understand

I was all ready to shout at him when I heard her voice

"Anya you know how important it is" I turned around to find her talking on a call with her phone pressed between her shoulder and ear and two cups in her both hands , she bite her bottom lip while listening, her eyes fell on me , I looked away, I saw her coming towards me she stood exactly in front of me

"Hold na" She mouthed refering one of the cup
I took it from her hand

"You go and check on him okay, I'll talk to you later bye" She ended the call

"Hiii" She said taking a sip of her coffee

I just gave her a look

When did this happen? she and being cordial with me

She stood beside me placing her hands on edge of the railing

We both stayed in silent for a while until she spoke
"spit it out"

"Uh? "

"Just spit whatever going on in your brain"

"Nothing"

She gave me a pointed look and eyed towards my phone

"Still you will say nothing"

I was on Twitter yup the most negative place but I just couldn't control myself from reading the shit these people were writing

"I don't know pihu it's just...it's just feels I'm of no use, I'm a disappointment I'm failing everyone, virat bhai keeps on  trusting me, ro bhai and rahul sir keeps on giving me chances and I keep on failing them because of me these people are blaming them today, can't they just understand it's my fault it was my poor performance he toh did well na but still they are trash talking about them, they are blaming them for the loss just because they gave me a chance, Arey its not like we are losing deliberately can't they understand such a small thing and still if they want to criticize someone then it's me why they drag virat bhai in this..." I keep on ranting my feelings in front of her

"Better?" She asked slowly once I stopped

I was feeling much better than before
I nodded

"Doesn't help bottling everything inside you, sometimes you just have to speak your heart out and that's it"

I smiled

This is the first proper conversation we are having , without any arguments and sarcasm

"You know shubman yeh log na global warming ke liye bhi vii bhaiya ko blame karenge, he is a superstar they will love him , hate him but they just can't ignore him he has that charm you just can't ignore him and these haters doesn't even need a reason to say anything bad about him , there are also people who loves him, adores him, respects him,
  you shouldn't really give a damn to these negative people , and shubman you are not a disappointment, you can't be a failure, your confidence, your maturity inspires thousands of people,and before this injury you were scoring consistently, even you got your 1st 100 you captained a team and won,it's just a matter of time you'll get your rythm back, give yourself that time dont rush into things"