XVI. Lockdown

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I was back in my bedroom when I regained consciousness

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I was back in my bedroom when I regained consciousness.

It was still dark out, and the room was lit solely by the fire that roared in the fireplace. My head pounded as I forced myself to take deep breaths - it was painful, but at least I had air.

"Drink some water," Anita said from my right. She was seated in a plush armchair that was pulled up to my bedside. Her expression looked particularly sullen.

I slowly sat up, propping myself up against my pillow, and surveyed my surroundings. I was still in my dinner gown, which didn't help with my breathing, though my cloak was thrown over the back of one of the couches on the other side of the room.

"I can't -- breathe," I gasped as Anita wrapped my hands around a glass of water and assisted with bringing it to my lips.

My whole body ached.

"I can't breathe," I croaked, pushing the water away.

"Let's get you into something comfortable," Anita said gently as she took the glass and sat on the bedside table.

She carefully helped me off of the bed and assisted in peeling off my layers before pulling a nightgown over my head.

"What happened?" I wheezed as Anita helped me back into bed.

"I don't know," she said, averting my eyes as she pulled an extra blanket over me for extra warmth. "Alec brought you back to your room and instructed me to stay with you until you regained consciousness."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"I don't know."

I settled into bed and stared blankly at the canopy above me.

Anita pushed the chair back into the corner of the room and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked with a note of panic in my voice.

"You're awake now. I have to leave," she said stoically.

"Please don't go," I pleaded as I teared up. "I don't think I can bear being alone right now."

"I must go," she said firmly.

I stopped protesting as she left the room in silence.

* * *

Days passed.

I wasn't allowed to leave my room and I wasn't allowed to have any visitors. Anita only stopped by to deliver meals and do housekeeping. She didn't speak to me. She wouldn't even look in my direction.

I had no idea how long I would have to live trapped in that tower. No one ever bothered to notify me of what exactly I was being punished for. Not that it mattered. Vampires were cruel and time was meaningless to them. They could leave me locked up for a decade and think nothing of it.

In the beginning, I hoped that Alec would intervene and stick up for me, but the longer I sat in isolation the more I understood the depth of his loyalty to his leaders. He would never stand up to them - not even for the health and happiness of his own mate.

I was miserable.

The relentless boredom made my skin crawl.

Two vampire grunts guarded my door from outside in the hall, and my window was far too high for me to climb down or jump safely.

I'd lost my lighter and blown my cover. How could I avenge my family when I had nothing?

Once again, I was completely powerless and totally screwed.

Alec was AWOL; I hadn't heard or seen him since the day of the dinner. His absence caused me an immense amount of pain.

He was abandoning me all over again.

'What did I do wrong?'

I wracked my brain for an answer.

'Why did he continue to treat me this way?'

I cried, and cried, and cried.

'What would it take to make him love me enough to care?'

I was wholly shattered by the heartbreak.

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