Life After

Episode Two: Katherine

My name is Katherine Anderton and I'm 22 years old. It's been almost seven months since my brother died. Seven long and painful months. My parents have gotten remarried now, so at least they are happy again. I guess the end of the world brings people back together. But I can't say the same for myself. It's just my mom, dad, and me now. Trying to hold out with the last of our supplies starting to get thin. My dad has always been the "the world is ending" type. Watching those shows on TV about people building underground shelters and stuff. I always thought they were crazy and made fun of him for being like that. I never knew that one day he would save our lives.

Now everything seems to be falling apart again. My mom and dad are constantly fighting. I think they blame each other for my brother's death. Honestly, I think we all blame ourselves. We had a plan for everything. A method for each day and each trip we took outside the shelter. My brother, being the young rebel that he was, never listened to the plans. I'm the only one that knew about him sneaking out late at night to go hunting for food. He would leave in the dead of night when my mom and dad were sleeping while I was on watch duty so in reality, I should be the only one to blame for his death. The one to blame for the night he never came back.

Every morning when my dad would go up to check the outside traps we would hear him coming down the ladder yelling for someone to help. "Another animal! Another animal!" he would shout. My brother would just look over at me and smile. It was him who went out hunting at night and brought back something to place by the traps making it look like it stumbled in there on its own. Did my dad really think he was that lucky to get a snare every morning? We kept it to ourselves though. It was nice to see dad happy again.

That all changed the night Danny didn't come back. We never were able to find his body. All that was left were bloody clothes and a shoe. I assume a bear or something got him while he was out one night. To this day, I still haven't told my parents about his late-night trips. I'm not sure if they would ever be able to forgive me. But then again, my brother wouldn't want them to blame me... and he probably would have wanted everyone to keep going. Just like he always did.

It's hard now to remember how much I used to love him. Our whole family was tight before the nuclear war. We'd go on hikes together, eat meals around the table as a group, and spend the evenings laughing with each other at home after school. And now he is gone. Killed by a stupid little mistake. For that, I blame myself. Me. Not him. If anything, I am the reason he died.

My mom and dad were arguing again earlier tonight. I've learned to pick up what they are saying. My mother was talking about getting some of their supplies and leaving the shelter for good. She said she had to "figure out where to go next." Dad, on the other hand, seemed more in favor of staying inside. He would say stuff like, "the world will be back to normal soon enough." Then he starts complaining again about my brother being a loose cannon. My father said it was because he never grounded him when he was younger that he went out and got himself killed. That is how all their fights ended now. One of them would bring up Danny and say something they should have done when he was younger or kept an eye on him more. I don't even know if they realize that I am still here to tell you the truth. We never talk anymore. We never go up to the surface for afternoon picnics. Nothing. As if I am a ghost.

I wish my dad would stop crying. It upsets me. I can only imagine what he must be feeling. The fact that there is no light at the end of this tunnel. No hope. It makes me feel sorry for him. But I also just want to slap his face right now and yell at him to man up. Do something. Anything. Just to hear someone other than them speak. I really miss that. All those times when I was a kid and grandma would sing songs to us or talk to my friends over FaceTime. I miss the interaction with other people. That is when I decided it was time for me to leave. As much as it will hurt me to leave my mom and dad behind only seven months after Danny died. I know I must go... somewhere. Anywhere but here.