TW: dysfunctional family.
everyone hates me for who i am right now.
they say they miss the old me and that they don't want to hear a sound come out of my mouth.
and so somedays i try to show them old videos they made of me when i was their perfect little angel,
but they say they don't have time to watch me being a stupid little child.
didn't they say they loved that little kid?
didn't they say that's who they wanted?
didn't they shun me out because i have changed?
so why do they shun the better me too?
now i see that i was always the ridiculed one.
as i watch each clip of our home movies from when i was six.
they threw me a grand birthday party,
but even as i cut the cake they sneered.
they hate what i've turned into.
they hate the way i turned out.
i don't know how i've turned out.,
because it's all so blurry to me
as everything i see is through teary eyes.
always in the shade
and when the light finally falls on me.
i'm a shame.
not a diamond, just a blunt rock.
not even pretty, not even sharp.
and so i'll live in the dark,
as i always have.
i'll seek the shadows
and i'll forget their names.
the way they forgot mine.
YOU ARE READING
The Dark Ages
Poetry// maybe if i had loved my depression, it would have left me sooner. maybe if i had loved myself, i would have left sooner // "when i was younger, my parents would look for cracks on the floor when i fell."
