Life of Lust

Well Fuck

      I ran down the stairs, ignoring the pain in my leg as I ran. Tony was starting to head out the door when he heard me. He turned and caught me as I slammed into him, making him stumble back slightly in surprise. 
         "Jade, what the hell!?" He exclaimed.
         "Tony... I need... I need a few tests," I whispered hoarsely. 
      He stiffened and I felt his hands clenching on my shirt. He trembled against me, his breathing rigid. "Tests?" He asked darkly.
      I didn't look at him. "Yes..."
     His hands relaxed a bit, rubbing my arms gently. "Just stay here...," He growled. 
     He turned away from me, closing the front door and walking out the door, cursing under his breath. I trembled. I can't be... Please, Lord, don't let this happen! I walked towards the kitchen, lacing my fingers together nervously as I waited for Tony to get home. I bounced my leg, taking deep breaths, my stomach churning with pure anxiety. 
         "Shit, I can't be. What if I am? I'm nearly 17 now.... But I was raped.... No, it's still my child," I muttered, trying to figure out what I'd do if I was pregnant. Would I be a good mother?
      I must have zoned out for a good while because Tony tapped my shoulder and handed me two tests along with a tub of Magnum Sea Salt Caramel icecream. I smiled at him gratefully and went upstairs. I'll take the tests first thing in the morning. I sat on my bed and opened the icecream, cracking the chocolate shell and turning on my TV to try and relax. As I ate my icecream, I hummed in satisfaction at the taste. I enjoyed my icecream before checking the time. 8:58 PM. I sighed and called it a night, shouting down to Tony I was headed to bed before jumping under my sheets and curling up with my body pillow. Fucking fuck...

      I woke up abruptly and grumbled, rolling over to grab my phone. 6:02 AM. I sighed heavily and trudged out of bed, grabbing the tests on my nightstand on my way to my bathroom. This wasn't my ideal morning, but it would have to do with all the bullshit I'd been through in the last week and a half. Kathy, my ex-best friend was out of my life. Austin and Johnson were being trialed for a year in prison. Both men owed me nearly $50,000 dollars for their assault. My head was spinning as I sat down and grabbed a cup to piss in. What exactly was I doing?
        "Jade, you up?" Tony's voice sounded from my bedroom.
       "I'm in the bathroom!" I shouted so he'd stay out.
       "Alright, I'm headed to work," He called back. 
    I placed the tip of the first test in the cup and then washed my hands before walking from the bathroom to hug him. "Be safe," I murmured.
        "Always, Jade. Wait for me to come home before you tell me the results," He told me gently, his jaw clenching for a moment.
        "Okay, Tony."
     He kissed my forehead lightly and then turned to leave. I felt an odd tingle lingering where he had kissed me as I walked back into the bathroom, pulling the test from the cup and placing the other one on the counter nervously. I sat on the floor, refusing to look at the first test, my heart pounding against my rib cage wildly. Oh dear God.... I thought, slowly turning it in my hand to finally see the result. My heart stopped, slamming once into my chest before it stuttered. I felt my jaw drop and I'm pretty sure my eyes were popping out.
    There it was. The test. It was positive. My stomach clenched and I covered my hand to my mouth. No way! There's no way! The first test is always wrong... It's always wrong... I stood up and hurriedly got dressed in blue jeans and a black hoodie labeled "Brunette". I ran my fingers through my hair and slipped on my shoes, running to the front door and swiping the keys to my brother's Honda Civic. I jumped into the seat, checking my pockets for my license. It was there. I backed out of the driveway and pulled out, driving down the road to the nearest clinic. My heart was hammering so hard in my chest I found it difficult to breathe. I pulled into the parking lot and parked hurriedly, trying to calm myself.
         "Ma'am?" I heard a nurse call. 
        "I need to see if I'm pregnant," I told her, grabbing her arm to keep her from walking away. "Now."
         "O-Of course," She stammered, her eyes wide as she tugged herself from my grip. "Right this way, ma'am."
      I followed her down the hall quickly, panic setting in heavier. Please... I can't be! I turned right with the nurse, who slowed her pace and led me into a nice room.
          "Sit here, I'll send in Doctor Leslie," She told me quickly before rushing out of the room with a sigh. I heard her muttering in Spanish as she left.
       I sat down, bouncing my leg with my hands clasped together as my anxiety seemed to grow. I felt restless sitting there, my stomach churning and clenching at the same time. What was wrong with me? I wasn't pregnant. It wasn't possible. I shifted in my seat, growing more and more uncomfortable as I waited in silence. The time passed slowly and I listened to the faint ticking of the clock, clasping and unclasping my fingers repeatedly. It seemed like hours passed before a petite woman stepped in, flashing me a smile. 
           "I am Doctor Leslie," She reached out to shake my hand. I took hers in my own and did a light shake. "I hear you need to know if you're pregnant?"
        I nodded stiffly. "Yes, er... There was an incident and I need to be sure," I told her.
        Doctor Leslie shifted in her seat and nodded. "Did you take a test?"
        I swallowed. "Yes, but I want a professional to confirm."
        She frowned slightly, her brows pulling together thoughtfully before she nodded again, standing. "I see. Well, come with me."
       I rose to my feet and followed her, the world around me seeming to slow down. I walked behind the doctor, my eyes watching both sides of me as the other nurses and doctors seemed to pass by in slow motion. My heart was pounding against my chest with anticipation for a final answer. The anxiety was beyond anything I'd ever known before. My hands continued to clasp and unclasp on their own. This was killing me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, we stopped, but my daze continued.
            "Ma'am?" Doctor Leslie's voice was highly muffled. "Ma'am?"
       I blinked, shaking my head. "I'm sorry. Yes?"
       She plastered a smile on her face, her eyes losing their friendly twinkle for a moment. "I asked if you could fill out this information sheet," She handed me a clip board with three papers on it. I sat in a chair and started to fill out the information in the utmost honest way I could then.         She watched me with a small smile on her face. As I handed her the filled out paperwork and read through it, nodded and then turned from me. My stomach clenched nervously as she faced me once again and motioned to a bed in the next room. I bit my tongue and walked over before slowly laying down on the bed. Dr. Leslie muttered to herself some, her brows furrowed in focus as the placed her hands on my abdomen. Her eyes flicked up to me and then back down as she pressed here and there. I sat up as she left the room and then walked back with another small cup and one of those professional tests. I sighed and walked into the bathroom to repeat what I'd done only an hour or so earlier. When I came out she took the test and studied it, telling me to take a seat. I crossed my legs and shifted nervously, chewing on my lower lip. She let out a small sound of sympathy as she turned to me.
             "I'm so sorry, but it's come up positive," She smiled shyly. 
         My heart stopped and so did my world. There was no way in hell. I felt tears in my eyes and mumbled a 'thank you' before walking out of the room and down the hall. I blindly followed the exit signs that directed me past the front desk. The nurse from earlier nodded to me, her smile fading when she saw my distraught expression. 
           "Mija! What's happened?" She asked frantically, walking quickly to match my pace. 
           "I'm pregnant," I replied blandly. 
           "Oh, is that not good news?" Her big brown eyes only grew bigger as they widened.
        I sniffled and shook my head. "I was raped. I was fucking raped."
        She placed a hand on my shoulder, her face softening. "Oh, my dear, I am truly sorry that has happened to such a magnificent young woman such as yourself. But remember, every child is a blessing."
        I stopped and stared at her in stunned silence. "What?"
             "Every child is a blessing. You will do great," She told me. "Bless you, ma'am."
        And for some reason, that made my entire day better. This baby is mine. I will raise him or her. I pulled out my phone.
               "Tony, can you get out of work early?" I asked.
               "Um, yeah sure," He replied before his muffled conversation with his boss started.
         I waited for him to speak again. "I'll be home soon, Jade."
         I hung up the phone and got in the car, pulling out of the Hospital parking lot with a small smile on my face.

              "Jade, is something wrong? Why'd you need me to come home early?" Tony asked, rushing over to where I sat at the kitchen bar. 
               "The test is positive," I told him, still smiling.
           His face fell. "Why are you so happy about that?"
           I took a deep breath, recalling what the nurse had said to me as I left the hospital. "Every child is a blessing. I'm keeping the baby, Tony," I told him sternly.
            Tony ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes troubled. "Well, fuck, alright then. Um..."
           I blinked, staring at him calmly.
                 "I'll make a list of what we need then," He sighed, pulling me into a hug.
           Grateful, I hugged him back. "Thank you, Tony."
           He nodded silently, his body tense. Sex is pleasant, but I have a child to carry. Why is Tony so tense....? I knew my question would remained silent and unanswered for a while yet.