Match Made In Hell, A Soalden story

Lord X Peasent

A/N why is 322 not actually that many words, help.

I awoke later laying on a hard wooden framed bed.

"Uhhhh, where am I?" I asked to myself, blinking the sleep out of my eyes.

"Home babes" said a monstrous voice from behind me.

I took in my surroundings, realising I was sitting in a four poster bed located in the MIDDLE of the room. Who were the psychopaths who placed a bed in the middle of the room.

"Uh..home?" I stated to the rat faced blonde man behind me

"Yes baby, anyways how ya feeling?" he asked. His voice so high pitched that my ears burned at the sound.

"Fine...who are you??" I asked, EXTREMLY confused.

"Lord Ca..sc..i..ou...s" he replied, highlighting every syllable.

"????" I stated, I had no idea what was going on.

"Puh-lease, everyone knows who I am" he said, avoiding my question marks.

"Not me mate" I said because #australianauthor.

"???"

"I'm new to the elf world" I replied.

"Oh" he said "Well let me teach you one of our fundamental values.

He leaned down towards me, grabbing my chin with his left dainty hand, before angling my face up to his. 

He gazed down at me, I sensed a feeling of accomplishment in eyes, the same feeling Alden had, the same feeling Linh and Tam and Biana and Fitz and Della and everyone else had.

It made him even more attractive.

I knew i shouldn't be feeling this way, he was a ???? year old man. Way out of my normal dating pool.

Yet with him I felt different. I suppose that was why I didn't protest as he cupped my face with his smooth hands and pulled me closer to him before..

It was like kissing a cloud. I was 2000 km high. All the other things that had happened today seemed insignificant compared to what was currently happening.

I was kissing a boy. A BOY.

Sure, it wasn't my first kiss, year 3 was crazy, it was defiantly my favourite. For now.

"So uhhhh that happened" I stated as he pulled away, smirking at me.

"Indeed it did" stated another, deep, muscular voice from the closet.

"AND it shouldn't have" yelled the voice as a man stepped out from the closet.

"Bronte??" yelled Cassius "The hell are you doing in the closet?"

Why he wasn't questioning why this hell-spawn pointy eared devil was in his house was beyond me. Yet, Bronte seemed happy to awnser his question.

"I'm coming out, I'm bisexual-"

"I'm supportive" interrupted the Lord.

"Good, anyway, Sophs" he stated, gazing at me.

"Thats a me, SophIA"

"???"

"Sorry, human meme, Just be glad I'm not Chris Pratt"

"Anyways" he stated "You gotta come with me girl"

"Uh why??" I replied

"becuase I say so" he replied, placing his hands on his hips

"Oh, ok, bye Lord Cassius"

"Please, call me daddy"

"No"

"Oh...well anyways, BYE BABE"

"Bye" I replied as me and Bronte spun on the ground, disappearing into light. Apparently Tom had taught it to him back in the '50's.