My Matrimonial Woes

The one who wanted me to move

In a complete down in the dump moment I decided to take a chance and widen my horizons. I found a match in the country of kiwis. Initially I was hesitant, he had only one profile picture up. His eyes looked kind and he seemed just as reluctant to put up pictures and details as me.

I took his number and called him in evening. He asked for a call back. I complied. The conversation flew. We seemed to be on the same wavelength. There was a spark, something definitely worth exploring.

He called me back the next day. We spoke for a bit. Time flew when we spoke.

On Diwali we had our first video call, it was spontaneous and fun, I enjoyed being able to look at him. He was a real person ! Yayy!

He checked all the boxes in the beginning. He was smart, spoke like a kiwi, had a fair idea of indian values and culture. And had very similar values to mine. Or so I thought.

Sometimes I feel that people are like onions, there is a layer beneath a layer and all the layers come of slowly. The layer on top is the one we show to the world. Tough and brown(pun intended), hardy and ready to adapt to the environment. Rustic and cheery. Take that layer off and you get a slightly softer, fleshier, more rich purple layer. This layer is soft yet tough. This is the layer we reserve for our friends. The layer which is vibrant with emotions.

Dig deeper and you would find yet another layer. Softer and more full of juice, this is the layer our loved ones know of. This is the layer of emotions and memories formed over the years by love. And then dig deeper and you would find the seed. The core of someone's being.

His outer layer was cheery and fun. The inner layers though were not so happy as they opened up slowly. I realised he was selfish to an extent. And has his own idea of how life should be led. I had mine.

So we called it quits after less than an year of trying to make it work long distance. He wanted me to move to his country and fit in his life. I did not like him enough to do that.

Less then a couple of months later, he moved on. I saw it , felt a little bad, then realised that it was okay. The less fleshy layers that I saw were the real truth. He was a selfish man. And if the core is selfish, then that is not something I wanted from a life partner anyways.