The Story of Joshifer

Chapter 23

73 ** Josh's pov
While in the ambulance Jen starts to black out which scares me. When we get to the hospital they take her in run test get her in some pain medicine. The doctor came in and told us that they gave her pain medicine because she's in labor but the baby won't be born alive. Jen's immediate reaction is silence I just break down. Jennifer asked him if she has to delivery her baby today he said yes that's she's coming but the outcome won't be as expected. I call Jen's mom and my mom and tell them what's going on. They are both upset and say that they will do anything to help. Jennifer tries to sleep but she can't sleep through her contractions. She says the pain is still bad even though the baby is smaller. When it's time for her to push I begin to fell like a miracle will happen when little Lindsey is born. Baby Lindsey comes out and she is 3 lbs and 14 inches. Jennifer doesn't want to hold her but I do I hold her Jennifer looks and then she holds her. They take her away and we have to fill out the birth and death certificate.

74** Jen's pov
Explaining to a three year old that you had the baby but you don't bring it home because she's an angel is the most painful thing I have every had to tell someone. I've been feeling down since Lindsey was born and so has Josh usually he tries to stay strong but this time he's really hurt. Our parents take turns coming over and doing basically everything for us except wiping out butts. I miss feeling young and happy I don't feel like I'll ever get that back. I just feel like Josh and I are broken forever. The kids help but they also remind me that Lindsey isn't here. Most of all I want to know what going on in Joshs mind because I feel like I can't be there for him. Our wedding anniversary is coming up but I don't think we are gonna do anything just we didn't get to do anything for Ellie's birthday. I think now we are just trying to heal our broken hearts.
1 month later*
Joshs pov
Jen and I have mourned our baby girl and though our hearts will never be fully healed, I think we have worked through the rough part of grief. The way we healed quick is Jen and I h aren't working as much anymore just be a family.