In White Robes

Chapter 16 - What You've Been Looking For

Koko's body fell against the wall, the hole in his head oozing black blood that looked more like paint. Thick, seeping, putrid. Tabby buried his head again in my robes and screamed, the sound of his voice sending vibrations through me.

I wanted to scream too. But all I could manage to do here was sweat, bite my lip till it tasted salty on my teeth, and look across the desk at Larson and his weapon. Another part of me questioned why the Concealed had not rushed in to survey the room. Did they know what was going to happen?

Maybe they thought it was Tabby or me that had taken the bullet. Little did they know . . .

I glanced at Koko's still body, repressing the nauseous feeling swelling within me. "Tabby was shot, too. How is Koko dead, but Tabby is . . ."

"Koko was much more frail than he appeared to be," Larson started. He already looked too frail though. It was just his ludicrous amount of strength that stood out beyond his thin frame. Larson knelt beside the corpse, caressing its face softly as though it were a newborn fresh from the womb.

"A toy can always be replaced," he said, now touching the bullet wound and the discolored blood. "He served his time well. But all things decay." He suddenly turned to me and Tabby, staring with that same eye color I once had before the injection. The eye color he had stolen from me and filled in with something new and scary.

Was that what he meant? All things decay. Did he want a part of me to change and decay, and become whoever I was now?

"You know me as the Devil," Larson said, taking a seat at his desk, leaving Koko's body by the wall. "I gladly accept such a name. It is not far from the truth. I have sinned, and perhaps I do belong in hell." The pistol he was once holding had been placed on the desk. I was eyeing it eagerly.

"But," he continued, "I believe I owe you some answers, don't I?" He spun around in his chair to face the shelf of books, carefully sifting through the collection until he pulled an all-black journal out and set it on the desk beside the pistol. Why hadn't he moved the gun?

On the front of the journal in white permanent marker, it was labeled: "Anaviosei Project." I didn't understand the Anaviosei part, but many parts of me refused to ask about it, just remembering how emotionlessly Larson took Koko's life. No hesitation. No regard. I didn't want to speak with him again. I just wanted out.

The air around me was suddenly growing tight in my lungs, closing in on my eyes like a dark veil. Everything around me felt like it was moving inward, the walls and their desire to crush me in the middle, the furniture and its mockery. I had even seen Koko's dead body stand back up and gaze with rolled-back, bloodshot eyes.

I couldn't understand anything anymore. I just wanted to leave. Not just the room, but the facility like always. I wanted to learn of the path to freedom and find it for myself and Tabby and Avery.

Avery . . .

Avery, the angel in my thoughts and dreams. Avery, the one I would swear my life away for. Avery, the one still in danger.

Suddenly I remembered why we were out here in the first place. To find Avery. To save him from whatever chemical they were pumping into his veins.

Then I thought of the time and how long I'd been caught up in danger and just the image of Avery in pain. I was feeling so, so lost now.

My first ever panic attack.

"Will you read it?" Larson said, snapping me out of my trance. He wanted me to read a book about answers that may or may not have been real answers. I was no fool.

"Where's Avery?" I said quietly at first, my body shaking. When Larson didn't respond, I yelled it. "Where's Avery?"

He put his hands up halfway in defense. "Calm yourself, Kay. Please just read the—"

"I'm not reading your damn book." The words came gliding out of my mouth, sour and angry. "Tell me where he is." Still no response. So I found the next best solution to his silent treatment.

I rushed to grab the pistol off the desk—he didn't even react or try to stop me—and then I pointed it at him. Right in between the eyes.

I'd never held or shot a gun before but one bullet was all I needed. One pull of the trigger to erase him and lift this curse off my shoulders. Off everyone's shoulders.

"Will you answer me now?" I asked. Larson still did nothing, even with the pistol aimed right at him. It was like he was inviting me to kill him. But no, I would not give him the satisfaction.

I rubbed the back of Tabby's head, holding him out so I could see his eyes. His firm red, beautiful eyes.

"You're fast, right, Tab?" I asked him, almost smiling.

"I wasn't fast enough," he said back, "not when I needed to be. Otherwise I wouldn't have gotten shot. Why?"

"I need you to be faster, then." I held onto both of his shoulders, giving him one more look into the face so I could remember it. So that I could have one final hard stare into his eyes and never forget his name.

Tabby. Tabby. Tabby.

"I need you to outrun them," I said slowly. Tabby's eyes went wide. Before he could protest, I continued: "I know it sounds crazy but this won't work if we're both in the same room. Run and find the exit. Run and don't stop running. If we succeed, we're going to be free. Do you hear me?"

"Free," he repeated after me. "Free. Free! I'm going to taste freedom!" Tabby slid from my grasp, blasting through the door, disappearing into the hall. Then it shut and I could only hear myself and Larson now.

I looked at the man. He looked at me, waiting.

Then the siren from that chaotic day sprung into the air, filling the facility with its noise again. They had seen Tabby and now the alarm was being sounded.

Larson and I shared a silent look for longer while the slit under the door went from beaming with white light to gleaming with blood-red.