In White Robes

Chapter 19 - Step Outside The Glass

I would not let him catch me. I had the body of a predator, and he the prey.

But who was he anyway? That was not the same Avery I knew from these long months of captivity. What had they done to him? How was his "test" different from mine and Tabby's? Why had he become the second Puppet?

I was not going to turn around and find out. I was going to leave this place. Just me and Tabby. Finally.

"Tabby!" I screamed, turning the corner leading into another hall. Down this one, there was a fork in the road waiting. There would be three directions in which to move, and I did not know if this building had dead ends or if the whole place was a never-ending loop.

I got no response from Tabby. Or at least I heard nothing more than my own panicked breathing, Avery's fleeting steps and the cry of the alarm. Everything too loud, too distracting. Too red.

Soon, I realized I was slowing down. Realized Avery was closing the gap between us, and I pondered if this was what I wanted. If I had stopped here in the middle of the hallway on purpose, staring deep at the end of the hall where the fire screamed, where Avery only came closer.

With this new feeling in me, a feeling I couldn't describe, I turned around and faced him. Held my arms out for him. Wanting him. Not seeing the danger in his eyes, but seeing only his beauty I had been longing for.

There was a lot I didn't know about him. His favorite foods, what he dreamed of at night, his goals in life, what scared him most. If his childhood was a good one. His favorite seasons of the year.

Suddenly this pained me, not knowing more than his number and his name and that he had once loved me like I loved him. Standing here now, held in these red lights, feeling the heat of the fire even right here, I just wanted him.

And I wanted him to want me.

"Avery," I said, watching him come closer and closer. "Come with me. Come with us! Don't you want to leave?"

I'd forgotten who I was truly talking to.

"Don't you want to be happy?"

Not the real Avery.

He was finally close enough to touch me. Finally in my arms. I did it—I held him. Cradled him in my arms as he relentlessly beat away at me. Elbowing me, struggling against me, bashing me, clawing my flesh wherever he could.

He never once spoke, and I remembered he was always the shy one. So quiet, always keeping to himself. That's what I loved about him.

"What are you doing?" Tabby's voice suddenly ripped through my head. I didn't know where exactly but he was somewhere behind me. "Kay, what are you doing?!" he said again. "Stop!"

His footsteps hurried toward me. Toward us. He must not have understood how much I needed this, how much I needed Avery. Again I was knocking the thought around in my head that Tabby just did not understand what love meant. He didn't know. That was okay. It would be okay.

I would still hold my love here in my arms, tight and gentle both at once. Only the best for my Avery. I didn't want to leave him. I knew he was still somewhere in that body suspended under Larson's will by puppet strings.

"It's okay, Avery," I said softly, still holding the furious deer. I wouldn't let go, no matter how loud Tabby yelled my name from behind. "It's okay. I love you. I love you, Avery." He scratched away at my cheeks, nails digging ruthlessly into my skin, and still I held onto him. "Do you hear me? I love you . . ."

All I felt was pain but what I heard was the need to bring him back to reality. To revive him, that was what my mind told me. Revive him. Avery was dead. Bring him back. Hold him. Love him. Wait for him.

Tabby was now in reach, and the next thing I heard was a shattering crack as he struck Avery's nose with his fist. So violently that Avery went flying out of my hands, now lying limp on the ground. I scrambled to regain him, to feel him again. I was falling apart without him.

"Stop!" Tabby screamed, his spit dotting my face as he pulled me back away from Avery. "You're gonna get yourself killed!"

"Shut up!" I cried, clawing the air, my body desiring Avery. But Tabby was holding me back, and I hated that. "It's still him! Just give me some time! Please—please!"

"To hell with that," he hissed, dragging me down the hall. The metal of the floor felt cold under me. "This place is burning down from the inside-out. The Concealed are still trying to find me—thank God I lost them for a bit. We have to leave! I don't care about Avery or love or anything like that right now!" He was running faster now, somehow going at full speed even with me in his grasp. "You're trying to get us killed!"

Just like that, we were leaving Avery behind. Leaving him to slowly stand up and wipe the red blood from his nose, and lock eyes with me one more time.