HIRAETH 🤍 sk8 the infinity

HERE FOR YOU. // miya, genderfluid!reader

requested by catboymybeloved :)

! TW !

-s*lf-harm

>>

they sit on the floor, numb, staring at the tool across from them in silence. everything is mess. a tangled web. they want to scream. but what good would it do? nothing is good anymore. there is no relief.

except one.

their anxiety was getting worse these days. so bad that they felt like every living second was a torture, being terrified of everything - their friends, their family, their life.

and so they wait. for how long? they aren't sure. until they can't take it anymore. the urge is too strong. they can't fight it. 

a simple movement. and, the razor is in their hands. they let out a breath they didn't know they were holding. something happy bubbles from inside them. 

finally. 

they shut their eyes. drag the razor across their skin. pressure.. relief.

slide, pause. slide, pause. 

they watch the blood trickle done their blood. slowly, like raindrops on a car window. they are alive.

as they're about to reach for the paper towels on the table besides them, the door creaks open. y/n drops their razor, raises their eyes. 

out of everyone, they did not expect him. miya chinen.

miya stood at the doorway, frozen, staring at y/n. his eyes drift to the blood, the blade on the floor. he seems to realize, and in a sudden movement, he's next to them, holding their hand in his.

"y/n"

y/n is unmoving, unable to think or act.

miya inspects the wound. he's at the edge of tears. staring at his near broken expression, y/n feels themselves crack. 

"y/n, please" miya repeats softly. "how long has this been going on for?"

y/n doesn't want to answer. but they force an answer out, tears brimming their eyes. "a few weeks"

miya gasps lightly. the need is coming back. y/n bites their lip.

slowly, miya's arms swallow them, making them feel smaller than ever. but the comfort that it brings them is strange. they miss it.

"i know" says miya, still hugging them. "i know it's hard. but please, y/n. listen to me. i love you. i've loved you since the first grade. and i'm always here for you, understand?"

y/n shakes their head. close to a breakdown. how will they feel alive without hurting themselves?

they can almost feel miya's heart crack. 

"i'm going to help you" miya continues. "i swear. i'll fix this. i'm going to-" his voice cracks. ".. help you"

"o-okay.." their voice is barely a whisper.

miya's arms tighten around them.

they are loved.

they don't know why the feeling is so hard to comprehend. 

but someone loves them. someone is there for them. right?

"promise me. you'll try to get better?"

the words are too hard to manage. but y/n feels as if they have to. they can't hurt their friends even more. miya doesn't deserve this, not all all. so they'll say what will make him happy.

"i'll try."

miya's body loosens. he's relieved, they can tell.  he reaches out for the bandages and disinfecting alcohol.

he takes their arm, wincing at the wound he's met at, but perseveres through. he cleans the wound, wipes away the dried blood, ties the bandages around their arms more times than needed. 

like he's wrapping protective layers around their skin. tears line both of their faces.

their too young for this, but yet, here they are.

miya lets go of their arm. it's silent.

finally, he places a gentle kiss on their forehead, tucking their wisps of hair behind their ears. 

"i'll be back with some water. wait right here" he tells them.

he stands, walks out of the room.

y/n's eyes drift to the floor where the razor had fallen.

it's gone.

<<

a/n: since i've never personally had experiences like these before, i apologize if it isn't as good as it could have been. i tried my best at recreating the feelings and thoughts, but i can't say it all is accurate. please feel free to correct me.

I AM ALWAYS HERE TO TALK IF YOU NEED. I LOVE YOU SM.