he was driving
he said something i never imagined he would
and if i am being honest, it hurt me
pretty bad that it silenced me for the whole day
we usually got our hands intertwined,
but this time he didn't even let a single touch land on my skin, not even a touch of his eyes on me
he did not sing, he did not speak, he did not make any sound
just driving
i was holding myself from crying the whole time
i looked like i was bitching around because i did not even apologize and did not try to talk to him
but he did not even bother to try talking to me too
until he realized i have been silent the whole time, and asked me why
i never could bear with the question "why", especially it was thrown from his mouth
he kept on asking me about food,
which i did not know how to answer and i did not even know what i wanted to eat because
i felt kinda full and i lost my appetite because i was sad
i was sad, i wanted to cry, but i knew i should not, and i could not
especially in front of him
the thing is, when i'm dead silent, he goes silent too
while my silent affect his mood and behavior, i should not expect him to do grand gestures to make me feel okay which will also affect him too
so i want to thank the night breeze, and my full-happy stomach
who had made me feel better
then on our way home,
he put his arms around me and we jammed to Taylor Swift's Red Taylor's Version
i was being annoying and he was being irritated and i was too, sensitive
but eventually it is all love
that we always bounce to one another
Pantai Indah Kapuk, November 17th, 2021
YOU ARE READING
911
Poetryi journal when my feelings starts to get me drowned in it. but a thousand words won't be enough to let it out. so to make it short, poetry came by and gave me some words to get things out of my chest. almost like my 911 calls, helping me to stay san...
