Shutter ➳ CITRUS

Thirty Two - Kyoto

Mei's POV

I stare at the scenery outside my window, the trees pass by in a blur as the train trudges on towards its destination. The last week took a heavy toll on me. Yuzu moved back into her parents' house and decided to shut me out. I couldn't blame her, I guess she doesn't want me hovering over her all the fucking time.

I'm trying to be strong. I force myself off the bed every morning, get dressed, go to work, go home at night then repeat the process again when the sun goes up the next day. I spent most of my nights crying myself to sleep. Alone, cold, lonely. It was all I could do to be able to show up in the office without breaking down in front of everyone.

I miss her so much. So fucking much it's paralyzing.

Himeko and Ryuu are always around when I'm at work, trying to engage me in conversations and asking me to go out with them after work but I can't bring myself to do it. I know they're worried about me but there isn't much they could do to stop me from feeling shit every day.

Yuzu's what I want. She's what I fucking need.

I play our phone conversation in my head from last night. It was an hour or two after I fell asleep when my bloody phone started ringing.

Blindly, I answered it without checking who it was and gave the caller a mouthful. Hearing her voice on the other end, at first, I thought something bad happened because of the inconvenient time she called. But once she confirmed there's nothing wrong, I'm back to aching for her.

I was surprised when she asked me to go to Kyoto since she left Tokyo without pretty much telling me. It left me confused and disoriented. I don't know what to feel. Should I feel excited about this trip?

But what if she asked me to come so she could tell me we're over, that she's breaking up with me? I bit my lip and shook my head, hoping it's not the case.

But if she doesn't want me anymore, what else is there left to do?

What are you going to do about it, Mei?

I don't know.

Nothing.

Fucking nothing.

The train arrived in Kyoto fifteen minutes after ten. I sling my bag over my right shoulder and drag my small trolley out to the station, its wheels squeaking against the platform. There are a lot of people, rushing to get in and off the trains.

I saw her first. She's beside a pillar waiting for me and I drew a breath at the sight of her. Amidst the sea of people, her hair always makes her stand out from the crowd. Her golden blonde locks I first get a glimpse of at Himeko's wedding. It felt like many years ago.

She's wearing a leather jacket over her pink dress, a scarf's around her neck. She turned more beautiful after days of not seeing her.

She sees me and waves and I might have looked like a twat just standing there not moving while other passengers knock over me. But I can't bring my feet to move.

"Hi," she said with a smile once she's in front of me. I just look at her.

I missed you.

I watch as she takes a step forward and wraps her arms around me. Suddenly she's very close that I can smell her perfume and the scent of her shampoo.

"Thank you for coming," she whispered and pressed her lips on my cheek.

"Uhm, it's not- I don't- it's no problem," I stuttered and I felt like I went full retard. She broke away from me with a grin and she looks down at my trolley.