You Try (Even when the world doesn't want you to|| WayV Lucas Angst

Today, we survive

Kunhang entered the room for the first time that day, sliding the white door closed until he heard a faint 'click'. His hand stayed on the handle for a few seconds, the boy preparing himself for the sight he was about to witness.

Slowly, he let go of the handle, his hand unsticking from the metal with a wet sound. Kunhang let a sigh escape his lips before he walked inside the room, stopping right in front of the bed where Xuxi's unmoving body lay.

He stared at the boy in front of him, letting his eyes run through the body. Studied the way his ribs were visible even under the large hospital gown, and sudden nausea overcame him once his eyes reached the bandaged arms and the tube coming out of Xuxi's nose.

Kunhang wanted to scream.

He wanted to scream at Xuxi, tell him: "Why didn't you ask for help, goddammit!? Why the fuck would you read those comments?!"

He wanted to scream at the other members, tell them: "Why didn't you guys notice?! Weren't you supposed to protect him?!"

He wanted to scream at his reflection, tell him: "Why didn't you notice, you idiot?! Weren't you supposed to be his friend?! To protect him?!"

...

He didn't scream, not to Xuxi, not to the members, not even to himself. He didn't curse out his thoughts and his guilt, didn't drop to the floor and sobbed as he wanted. He just moved away from the bed and grabbed a chair. The grating sound it made while he dragged it through the floor made the headache that accompanied his thoughts even worse.

He placed the plastic chair next to Xuxi's bed and let his arms drop on the soft surface next to Yukhei's bandaged arms. He laid his head on his arms, his back protesting from the weird position.

Kunghang looked at Xuxi's face, letting a lonely tear drip down his cheek, falling on the soft mattress. The dim light coming from the window illuminated Yukhei's face, and, if it was any other situation, Kunhang would've probably taken a picture. The tall boy's face looked peaceful, like he was meant to be there, laying on that hospital bed, in that sterile room, with bandaged arms and closed eyes.

A memory attacked Kunhang's mind. A memory of loud music in a practice room. Of him and Xuxi practising until their muscles burned and their ears ringed from the loud booms of the music. When they stopped, they would drop on the floor, their limbs splayed over the wood, and only their heavy breaths would be heard. Then Kunhang would turn his head and stare at Xuxi's face. His eyes closed, a small smile decorating his features, and he looked like he did right now... peaceful .

But that wasn't right. Yukhei shouldn't be peaceful while resting on that hospital bed. He should be peaceful while dancing and laying on that hard wood floor, and for some reason, in the past months, Xuxi had been anything but peaceful while trapped in that room.

'Trapped' was a new word he had started using in the safety of his mind when referring to Xuxi's situation. Because yes, Xuxi was trapped.

Trapped in his mind. Trapped in numbers on a scale, in comments of faceless people. Trapped in a practice room, in a building full of people who told him how to act, how to smile, what to eat, what not to eat - because that list was much more extensive than the first- trapped in a dorm full of people who failed him.

Trapped.

And unfortunately, Kunhang was starting to relate to the feeling.

He could see it in the other's eyes as well, the feeling of being locked in a cage of infinite suffering, that is.